App: Hinge

Name: Ben*

Date Location: Smithfield Hall

Location Review:  3.5 Stars – If I liked soccer this bar would be cool. Other than that, pretty much your typical spot.

Date Duration: 1.5 hours

What Happened:

Going in, I didn’t know much about Ben aside from that he just tried out for pro soccer teams. That said, he seemed fun and positive so when he asked me out I said yes.

I met him at the bar and when he walked up I was surprised to say the least. For someone who had just come back from trying out for soccer teams he wasn’t quite in the shape I pictured.

Well, fuck it. He was from Massachusetts so maybe we’d have something to talk about? NOPE. Dead on arrival. This guy was boring AF and was really just turning oxygen into carbon dioxide. For like 80% of the night he was looking at the soccer game on the screen behind my head.

I tried. I really did. From what I gathered he had been training for these try outs for like 4 months. So I was then more confused as to how he was in the shape he was in and, more importantly, how the fuck he was paying for his apartment in Flatiron. WTF. Something wasn’t adding up. Either he wasn’t training full time like he said or, he had a sugar mama.

After a beer he started to slightly redeem himself. He apparently memorized my whole profile so he more or less grilled me on my photos. That said, there was no saving it. We got the check and he walked me to the train. We hugged and went our separate ways.