Encounter #16.1: In and Out Date

App: Tinder

Name: Trey*

Date Location: District Tap House

Location Review: N/A – Could not make an effective review

Date Duration: 7 minutes (a new record)

What Happened:

Trey and I had been chatting and texting for nearly 4 days before he asked me out. He seemed pretty normal. Aside from looking like a hedgehog, he worked in finance, was athletic, grew up in Westchester, lived in Hell’s Kitchen, liked to drink, and loved dogs. Nothing too noteworthy.

Just to preface the following events, below was the text exchange that day and a few days prior:

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Got it? Remember that? Cool.

I met him at the bar and said it was super busy inside but he knew of a spot a few blocks down. We walked over and did small talk about work. Nothing special. We got to the second bar which was also full. I let him know that I was fine with staying there and standing but if he wanted to change locations, that was also fine. Trey said he wasn’t feeling it so we walked out.

When he said he wasn’t feeling it, he meant about the whole situation. We were standing outside and he said, “Yeahh, I’m not feeling this. I’m tired. I’m just going to go home. Nice meeting you”. AND WALKED AWAY.

Okay, I recognize that I am not a supermodel by any means. Probably a 7 with a personality that could bump me to an 8 depending on the crowd. That being said, I do make a point to have photos on my profile that look like me. Too many times have I gone to meet a guy expecting Hottie McHotpants and instead got Homer Simpson. WTF was this asshole expecting? If he didn’t want to go out why didn’t he just cancel when I texted him that day? WHO RAISED HIM?

As I walked to the train I unmatched him and blocked his number. I don’t care what his excuse was going to be. If you’re going to pull that shit I don’t need you in my life.

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Encounter #10.1: Who Dis

App: Tinder

Name: AJ*

Date Location: The Triple Crown Ale House

Location Review: 3.0 Stars – Has definite potential if you find a seat at the bar. Food is decent but if you’re at a table they will be pushing you through fast

Date Duration: 40 minutes (a new record)

What Happened:

We chatted for a few days on Tinder before he asked me to go out. He had a pretty open schedule so we set a date and went from there.

The morning of, he messaged me to let me know that he didn’t drink. Weird. I don’t care if you don’t drink but I think it’s weird to tell me ahead of time because now I’m very conscious of the fact that I cannot get drunk because you will have all your wits about you. Whatever, maybe he’d work out and I’d always have someone to hold my hair.

He was delayed getting to the bar because there was an emergency incident on his train and then he ran into his roommate on the street. WHAT ARE THE CHANCES. 30 minutes later he was at the bar and did not look like his pics. No joke, he looked like a model in these and showed up looking like a young Homer Simpson. Fuck. So we started looking for a seat at the bar.

We went upstairs and it turns out there was a company Christmas party going on and no one said anything to us and even told us where to set our coats. Open bar. Free food. Boy chickened out.

Since it was so packed, we moved over to The Triple Crown Ale House which was also packed so we got locked into a table. Very quickly I knew I wanted to dip out. To start, I was uncomfortable and wanted to be drunk but knew it would be uncomfortable if I did because I just said that I didn’t care if he didn’t drink. He also bitched about how girls stand him up. Then, he said he was a grad student…studying screen writing. He told me his latest piece was a stoner comedy. I had just went out with a stereotype. To top it off, he looked and acted EXACTLY like a friend I had from college. Same interests, both Italian, same eyes. Too weird.

I chugged my wine, we split an app, and once we left the bar I checked my phone. It was only 7 pm. He asked if I had to go back and I did the whole, “Ohhh NJ is so far. Early morning. PATH train” thing. He was heading the same way and walked me to my station. We hugged and he said, “Do this again?”. I was about 5 feet away at this point fishing a Metrocard out of my bag and responded with the quickest, “We’ll see” as I went through the turn style. Unmatched him the next day.

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