Encounter #20.4: The Boy from Neverland

App: Hinge

Name: Reed*

Date Location: Ethyl’s Alcohol & Food

Location Review: 4.0 Stars – Super funky spot on the Upper East Side. They have go-go dancers, fun decor, and even bingo on Wednesdays

Date Duration: 2 hours

What Happened:

Once again, this was Reed’s last shot. He opened up the last time we went out and I just needed to learn more about who he was as a person before I made a decision on his fate.

I shot him a text and we were on for date #4. Per usual, I got too drunk too fast but I apparently said some things that resonated with him.

We were joking about how I could pass for a high school student and I told a story about how I helped out at my high school’s Challenge Day as an adult. While I was at the school I was asked several times if I was a student (there were only freshmen that day) or if I was a teacher. So basically I could pass for 14 or 28. He didn’t know what Challenge Day was so I walked him through the program and basically it’s for teens to learn that there are other people going through the same things and there’s more to a person than meets the eye.

He was oddly interested in this and I noticed him start to get ever so slightly more personal with me and he recognized that he deflected a lot. But, a few minutes later I allegedly made a joke about STDs.

“You make a lot of jokes about STDs.”

“Really? I don’t think so…?”

“That’s the second one.”

“Oh? Weird.”

“Well it’s funny you mention that because I have herpes.”

“…I can’t tell if you’re fucking with me.”

“I’m not fucking with you. I really have herpes.” And then he pinky-promised he wasn’t messing around.

“I got it about a month and a half ago and I wanted you to know in case this goes any further. You’re the first person I’ve told about it.”

SHIT. 

The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. He never really touched me when we were out, the make outs weren’t heavy, and he never mentioned/propositioned having sex with me. I had so much respect for him to tell me but at the same time I wasn’t sure if I could handle it.

Reed assured me that it was basically a skin condition, 1 in 4 New Yorkers had it, he was on anti-viral medication, and I could ask him anything (also a first since he would deflect so much).

I didn’t really know what to say. On the one hand, I didn’t want to add to the stigma. I know plenty of people who have had an STD and basically they just got antibiotics and were good. However, I had never encountered herpes in the wild and it’s not one with a cure. I liked him but I wasn’t sure if it was enough to potentially contract it myself and have to have the same conversation with future partners.

We called it a night and walked the same direction to the train station. Before I left, we kissed (not intensely) and he left it at, “Well, I’ll let you do your research and if I hear from you then I’ll know you’re still interested.” GOD DAMN IT. Responsibility sucks.

I took the week to think it over and ultimately decided against it. The risk of passing it is very low with the use of condoms and anti-viral medication along with abstaining during break outs. He was cool, I liked him, but I didn’t think I liked him enough to take that risk with him. Since he was only diagnosed a month and a half prior I wasn’t sure if he really knew when his body would break out or “shed” as it’s called.

I then sent the most guilt ridden text I’ve ever written. Really, I felt like shit.

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Here this guy was who never told anyone anything coming clean about something so personal and I rejected him. Fuck.

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Situation #4.3: The Twins

Name: Mike*

What Happened:

After our night at Iggy’s, Mike and I texted constantly. There was more to him than I originally expected. He wrote a lot of material, had scripts up for Netflix, we had similar music taste, and both had an emo phase.

That week I got absolutely tanked with Rebecca and decided to answer his texts under the influence on the way home. 25262728

At the time, I was kinda into him. And I have to admit that it was pretty sweet of him to offer to come to NJ and give my drunk ass Poptarts. But as we kept texting over the weekend, he lost his charm.

I am all for getting drunk. I’m all for getting drunk on a regular basis. But being in your 30s, working part time, and still using funnels to drink beer say a lot about a person. Every single conversation we had was about getting drunk, ways to get drunk, the next time we’d be drunk, etc.

I also found out that his twin was texting Rebecca as well. What got weird was when she told me Mark had screenshotted one of her texts and accidentally sent it back to her rather than Mike. YALL ARE TOO THIRSTY. (Also I don’t want an orgy with Rebecca. We’re friends but no that’s a level of comfort I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for).

When Rebecca and I met up the next weekend we decided that we were both done with our prospective twin. …then we ended up at Iggy’s and ran into them. AWK SAUCE.

Being the smart/sneaky bitches we are, we got the twins to buy us shots and a drink. Then while one was in the bathroom and the other was chatting up a girl we dipped. We ran out of that bar so fucking fast.

I woke up the next morning to a “Where did you guys go?”. Ignored it.

I didn’t hear from him for nearly 2 months after that. The week of Hoboken’s Santacon he slid into my DMs on Instagram asking if Rebecca and I would be there. I left him on read. A month after that he slid into the DMs again after he saw I was watching a Patriots game. Left on read again and haven’t heard from him since. gifr10_6

Situation #4.2: The Twins

Name: Mark* and Mike*

Location: Iggy’s

Location Review: 4.0 Stars – Bar has karaoke, good music, and drunk people willing to make poor choices. However, the dancing is lackluster.

What Happened:

After our drunken evening at Ziggy’s, I didn’t think I would ever see the twins again. The week after we met, Mike asked if my friend and I were up to anything but I was heading out of state. I figured it would be like that first week of college where you exchange numbers and then never see the person again. But the Upper East Side is weird and you always run into the same people.

Rebecca and I went out for another night of drinking and poor choices. While I was tied up making out with Situation 5.1, she drunkenly wandered to the bar next door with the Situation’s friend.

How did I find this out? Mike texted me saying he saw Rebecca and was wondering if I was far behind. Situation 5.1 and I headed over to Iggy’s and I reunited with Rebecca and the twins. (What was odd was that right after I hugged the twins, both Rebecca and I’s situations left. Weird).

Rebecca found a new guy at Iggy’s which left me to kick it with the twins. We danced and I found out that Mark and Mike have synchronized dance moves. Once 3am rolled around though it was time to head out.

I started walking out of the bar and got a text from Mike asking if I wanted company walking to the train. I agreed and we walked a few blocks to my stop. We made small talk, nothing noteworthy happened. (Except for the most awkward goodbye in history. Like are we hugging? Just saying bye? Am I a bro now? Wtf). Then I checked my phone on the subway platform.

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So like that’s pretty cool.

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Situation #5.1: The Point Guard

Name: Josh

Location: Stumble Inn

Location Review: 4.0 Stars – A lot of good looking men at the Stumble Inn and the drinks aren’t insanely priced. It will just take you a half hour to get a beer.

What Happened:

After finally making a friend on BumbleBFF it was time we got fucking trashed together. Rebecca and I headed up to the Stumble Inn for a night of poor choices. Apparently people give a fuck about the World Series and especially care when the Yankees are playing. (Weird). So the bar was packed and there were quite a few prospects.

Rebecca and I got our drank on and this one guy who I kept waiting in line with would buy us shots each time he went to the bar. By about midnight we were fucked up. Rebecca saw a cute guy but somehow ended up talking to his friend and I took the opportunity to chat with this hottie.

He lived only 10 or so blocks up from the bar, was 30, and used to play basketball. He kept telling me that I was really beautiful and bought us some drinks. In his drunken wisdom, he tried making plans with me for the next day and was so serious about it he almost bought Giants tickets. I talked him out of it and we agreed that we would meet up in Hoboken to watch the game.

He must not have thought I was serious so he asked for my number and texted me immediately to be sure I had his digits. We hit the dance floor and started making out like crazy. (Let it be known that he asked why I was single during this time. I don’t understand why people ask this question because THE FUCK DO I KNOW. YOU TELL ME WHY I’M SINGLE SIR. If you have a decent answer for this please tell me because it’s awkward)

We kept making out and then realized his friend and my friend left which lead to Situation #4.2. But as all drunk plans go, they didn’t happen. I texted him Monday asking how his hangover went and to let me know if he ever wanted to grab a beer. He asked me for my Instagram handle and then I never heard from him again.

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