Situation #4.3: The Twins

Name: Mike*

What Happened:

After our night at Iggy’s, Mike and I texted constantly. There was more to him than I originally expected. He wrote a lot of material, had scripts up for Netflix, we had similar music taste, and both had an emo phase.

That week I got absolutely tanked with Rebecca and decided to answer his texts under the influence on the way home. 25262728

At the time, I was kinda into him. And I have to admit that it was pretty sweet of him to offer to come to NJ and give my drunk ass Poptarts. But as we kept texting over the weekend, he lost his charm.

I am all for getting drunk. I’m all for getting drunk on a regular basis. But being in your 30s, working part time, and still using funnels to drink beer say a lot about a person. Every single conversation we had was about getting drunk, ways to get drunk, the next time we’d be drunk, etc.

I also found out that his twin was texting Rebecca as well. What got weird was when she told me Mark had screenshotted one of her texts and accidentally sent it back to her rather than Mike. YALL ARE TOO THIRSTY. (Also I don’t want an orgy with Rebecca. We’re friends but no that’s a level of comfort I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for).

When Rebecca and I met up the next weekend we decided that we were both done with our prospective twin. …then we ended up at Iggy’s and ran into them. AWK SAUCE.

Being the smart/sneaky bitches we are, we got the twins to buy us shots and a drink. Then while one was in the bathroom and the other was chatting up a girl we dipped. We ran out of that bar so fucking fast.

I woke up the next morning to a “Where did you guys go?”. Ignored it.

I didn’t hear from him for nearly 2 months after that. The week of Hoboken’s Santacon he slid into my DMs on Instagram asking if Rebecca and I would be there. I left him on read. A month after that he slid into the DMs again after he saw I was watching a Patriots game. Left on read again and haven’t heard from him since. gifr10_6

Situation #4.2: The Twins

Name: Mark* and Mike*

Location: Iggy’s

Location Review: 4.0 Stars – Bar has karaoke, good music, and drunk people willing to make poor choices. However, the dancing is lackluster.

What Happened:

After our drunken evening at Ziggy’s, I didn’t think I would ever see the twins again. The week after we met, Mike asked if my friend and I were up to anything but I was heading out of state. I figured it would be like that first week of college where you exchange numbers and then never see the person again. But the Upper East Side is weird and you always run into the same people.

Rebecca and I went out for another night of drinking and poor choices. While I was tied up making out with Situation 5.1, she drunkenly wandered to the bar next door with the Situation’s friend.

How did I find this out? Mike texted me saying he saw Rebecca and was wondering if I was far behind. Situation 5.1 and I headed over to Iggy’s and I reunited with Rebecca and the twins. (What was odd was that right after I hugged the twins, both Rebecca and I’s situations left. Weird).

Rebecca found a new guy at Iggy’s which left me to kick it with the twins. We danced and I found out that Mark and Mike have synchronized dance moves. Once 3am rolled around though it was time to head out.

I started walking out of the bar and got a text from Mike asking if I wanted company walking to the train. I agreed and we walked a few blocks to my stop. We made small talk, nothing noteworthy happened. (Except for the most awkward goodbye in history. Like are we hugging? Just saying bye? Am I a bro now? Wtf). Then I checked my phone on the subway platform.

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So like that’s pretty cool.

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Situation #4.1: The Twins

Name: Mark* and Mike*

Location: Ziggy’s

Location Review: 5.0 Stars – There’s something about Ziggy’s that makes you into a shitshow. 2 for 1 happy hour drinks, tasty Mexican fare, and some interesting humans

What Happened:

During a BumbleBFF meet up my “lady date”, Rebecca*, and I met a set of identical twins. They were Patriots fans so we immediately got along and started drinking.

A few things about the twins. They came to NY to start a fashion line. Not to throw too much shade but it’s essentially expensive t-shirts. (Granted my version of high fashion is Target so to each his own.) They also played football at a major college and are still living out their glory days…at 30.

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What up, Joe?

Despite acting like they’re 22, they know a shit ton of people. At one point one of the twins turned to my friend and I and asked if we watch Grey’s Anatomy. We said yes, he pointed to a guy behind him, and said “Our friend was on it”. As I looked over I expected to see some random extra who had a foot stuck in his butt. Oh no. This guy was legit. WE MET JOE ADLER.

We also met their 2 friends who also work with the “fashion line”. One was pretty cute and was trying to convince us he was 19 while the other was on another planet. No idea what his deal was. Between awkward conversations we danced with the twins, talked Patriots defense, and drank.

After 2 margs, 2 scorpion bowls, and 2 tequila shots it was time for us to bounce. We each gave a twin our number and headed out from the bar. We thought it would be a one time thing. We were wrong.

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