Encounter #73.4: Home Team

App: Tinder

Name: Owen*

Date Location: Yankee Lanes & Murphy’s Taproom – Manchester, NH

Location Review:  4.0 Stars – Are you taking your life into your hands going here? Maybe. But $20 all you can bowl after 9:30pm is a solid deal.

3.5 Stars – I’ve been a few times over the years and it’s fine. The deck is really nice though.

Date Duration: 19 hours

What Happened:

This was going to be THE night. We had made plans the day after I had a wedding and despite being hungover AF, I was going to hang out with Owen and we were going to have sex.

I checked in with him earlier that day gunning to be invited to his place and he suggested that we go bowling. *Sigh* Alright, I guess I can keep it in my pants for a few more hours. I met him at the bowling alley and things were going pretty well. Not only was I starting to catch up with him on the score board but, conversation was good. I also noticed that when we were sitting next to each other we were touching.

We had just started our third string when the fire alarm went off and everyone was evacuated. Was this God helping me get laid? I made the eyes at him in the parking lot and he asked if I wanted to get a drink somewhere. Fiiiiiiiine.

As expected, the conversation was great. We were connecting. We covered some of our baggage. (I even saw someone we went to high school with walk by). And we closed the bar down.

Owen walked me to my car and I was giving him the “fuck me” make out. He had me up against the car and I kept pulling him into me. Finally, I heard the long awaited words, “Do you want to get out of here?”. Don’t have to ask me twice.

His place was nice. Hood adjacent. But still, pretty nice. It didn’t take long for things to get going and because I don’t want ALL our shit out there, all I’ll say was it was good. Like, really fucking good. I had no complaints and he was very focused on making sure I enjoyed myself.

He was also so sweet. After we had sex we were all snuggled up making out and chit chatting. Pretty much the entire time he was petting my hair or rubbing my back which I loved. He also asked me if I had wanted him to kiss me on our first date. When I told him yes he let out a, “Damn it, I KNEW it but I just wasn’t thinking. God, that was so lame for me to ask for your number”. It was really cute. He also kept pulling me into him saying how he liked how weird I was, kissing my forehead, and that he liked spending time with me. Just very sweet.

We stayed up until 5/6am and when we woke up for real around 10 he offered to get bagels. My heart. It absolutely poured the rest of the day so we spent it inside playing games, making out, and having bomb ass sex. Really the whole thing just felt very comfortable.

Owen really surprised me. I kept expecting him to do something shitty like all the other men before but he seemed to be a genuinely kind person. It was after that weekend I decided to take a chance, turn off all the apps, and see what the fuck would happen.

Encounter #77.2: Landscaper

App: Tinder

Name: Ethan*

Date Location: La Festa Brick & Brew – Dover, NH

Location Review:  3.5 Stars – Cute spot, pizza was decent, lovely customer service.

Date Duration: 7 hours

What Happened:

Our first date was pretty damn good so I was anxious to meet up with Ethan again. Was I incredibly horny? Yes. Was that the majority of why I wanted to see him? Also yes.

We decided to keep it low key since he was a little wigged out by Delta variant so I parked at his place, we packed a cooler of drinks, grabbed pizza, and chilled in the park.

Like last time, conversation was easy. He was high energy and we could make each other laugh. He was also very sweet with physical affection. When we finished our pizza we decided to walk around a bit and he was holding my hand the whole time and would pull me in for a kiss at the right moments.

Eventually we made it to this wooded path and we pulled over to the side to sit on a random ass slab of granite. As you can expect, we made out. He asked if I’d go back with him (mostly so I could pee) and he held my hand the whole way home.

His apartment was nice. It was multiple floors and it looked like Ethan and his roommate genuinely tried to make it look nice.

Ethan threw something random on the tv and it didn’t take long for us to start making out. Now, this is where I think I was too aggressive. I was DTF in a way I hadn’t been in awhile so I got on top of him and just laid on the “fuck me” make out. He took forever to make his move. Eventually he asked if I wanted to take things upstairs.

When we got there, I’m pretty sure I terrified him because it was clear we just had different styles when it came to the bedroom. Not long into things he went to grab a condom and I made some comment like, “Ohhh we have plenty of other things we can do” and then made him touch me since it didn’t seem like he was going to take the time to work on me.

After some mediocre efforts on his part we finally had sex and it was meh. Really I did most of the work. I brushed it off as it was an initial encounter and he was nervous. But we had sex again shortly after and it was the same shit. NEXT.

We were both busy the week after and couldn’t hang out. Tbh I kinda just wanted him to ghost me or end it since I had a more promising player on the roster. Eventually he asked me out again and I had to break it off. What was weird though was that apparently he also kinda wanted to break it but didn’t want to hurt my feelings. I mean fine but YOU ASKED ME OUT SOOOOO. Pretty sure he was just trying to save face. Nonetheless, it helped make the decision that I was going to focus on one person and stop being a skank.

Encounter #73.3: Home Team

App: Tinder

Name: Owen*

Date Location: Mel’s Funway Park, Pipe Dream Brewing & Buffalo Wild Wings – Litchfield, Londonderry, & Manchester, NH

Location Review:  3.5 Stars – It’s decent. I like tacky ass theme golf so Mel’s doesn’t quite deliver on that but still a solid mini course.

4.0 Stars – Good vibes. Good beer.

N/A – It’s a BWW.

Date Duration: 5 hours

What Happened:

It had been over a month since the last time I saw Owen. His work schedule sucked plus we were both out of town on the weekends. But, we did text every day in the time between and it seemed like we both wanted to see each other.

Because of this long delay, Owen felt kinda bad and said he wanted to make it up to me with a cheesey ass date. OH OKAY OWEN I SEE YOU. We picked mini golf and talked trash in the days leading up. This was going to be the match to end all matches.

We didn’t end up keeping track of scores. We gave ourselves fake names, dicked around, and spoke in Australian accents as the other went up to putt. He looked especially handsome that day so I was a bit distracted and we hadn’t seen each other in so long that there was a lot to cover.

It was hot as balls that day so after sweating our asses off we needed beer. Just like last time, it was easy to connect. I don’t even remember what exactly we talked about but there weren’t any awkward pauses. Really, I wish I had more juicy details to share but it was nice conversation with a good human. He did end up keeping our scorecard though.

Things did get spicy though when the bar closed down. Since it was a Sunday, the brewery closed early. Owen walked me to my car and asked if I was up to anything. I didn’t have plans. He didn’t have plans. So we decided to have no plans together. He was really craving wings so we decided to go to another spot. It was then in broad ass daylight we made out in the parking lot. He got a little spicy here. I was wearing shorts and I felt him slide his hand up my leg a bit. Oh baby.

When we got to Buffalo Wild Wings, we were definitely a bit closer than we normally were in that when we sat down at the bar, our legs and arms were touching. I am 1000% a physical touch person so small things like that go a long way in my book. Things were looking promising.

I will admit, I went into this date with full expectation to fuck. Provided that we weren’t awkward from not seeing each other, I figured it would happen. I showed up shaved and with extra underwear and condoms in my purse. It was getting late for him so it was time for us to wrap up. He gave me his arm (what a gent), walked me to my car, and we started getting into it.

Owen had a bit more edge than I thought so instead of just kissing me this time, he had me laid out on the side of my car. Alright, basement flooded. However, we were in a mall parking lot and very exposed. For those who have been long time readers, you know that this is my norm. I will lick anyone anywhere. However, I have noticed that making out in a parking lot in NH is a bit more exposed than sucking someone’s face on a street corner in NYC. Like people were flicking their lights at us and yelling shit from their windows as they drove by.

I think Owen knew where I was pushing things to go but it was late and he really needed to go to bed. He did say that we needed to set up a sleepover soon though. *Sigh* I s’pose I could hold out a little longer. (Low key though, I was fine with this. There was a moment where I realized he ate spicy wings and I wasn’t sure how that was going to pan out on my bits if we fucked. Rather not burn my kitty). We eventually went our separate ways home but as soon as I pulled into my driveway I saw a text from him and smiled like a fucking loser.

Encounter #77.1: Landscaper

App: Tinder

Name: Ethan*

Date Location: Portsmouth Gaslight Company – Portsmouth, NH

Location Review:  4.0 Stars – Always good food and a good time

Date Duration: 6 hours

What Happened:

As soon as we matched on Tinder, Ethan just seemed so fucking fun. He was very high energy and it didn’t take long for him to ask me out. Only problem was I was busy af so it was going to be a minute until we could see each other.

He kept up with texting me and all that in the week leading up and conversation over text was good. Nothing too spicy, always asked how my day was, and we would dick around here and there. As we got closer to the date it did seem like he was legitimately planning something so that was nice.

Going in, I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. He looked shorter in his pics but he did look cute. (He also did look a touch fratty but it was confirmed that he did not do the Greek life back in the day.) He was definitely into sports and shit so that’s always a toss up. Was he a bro or did he just like bro things?

He beat me to the restaurant and I was pleasantly surprised that when he stood up he was taller than me. Ka. Chow. He was also cuter in person. He had really big eyes, dark hair, and some full lips that I thoroughly planned on making out with later.

Conversation overall was decent. There were a few silences but nothing all that concerning. He seemed to have a decent head on his shoulders. He worked full time as a landscaper and had a good relationship with his mom. All in all not bad.

I was just so excited he fed me that when he asked if I wanted to keep hanging and get a drink on the water I was dumbfounded. WTF is this? A guy wanting to take me out like a person? Weird. But that’s on my NYC trauma.

We just kept chatting away and when we finished he still wanted to hang out so we walked to a park that was on the water. We stood at the water’s edge and I kept making the eyes. There would be small breaks in conversation and I was just WAITING for him to make the move. I suggested we park our asses on the bench behind us and he immediately put his arm around me. Good, good. This is progress.

Within moments we kissed and it was fucking good. Like full make out for minutes straight off that first move. If we weren’t in a public park, things definitely would have happened. I may have given an over the pants hand job and he definitely got all up in my chest. Wasn’t mad.

He did ask me to go home with him which I declined and he was cool about. Tbh, that just made him hotter since he passed the Gobstopper Test. We spent the rest of the night chatting, making out, and trying to avoid anyone seeing us sucking major face.

We covered quite the ground between make outs. To start, our strip club experiences. Then we went into art and how we like to buy when we travel. Then it came out that I wear gps tracking jewelry when I go out in case shit goes haywire and I need to let my friends know. And we rounded it out with if he’s an ass or tits guy to which he responded, “Tits are AIDS”.

It was late and he walked me back to my car holding my hand the whole way. I then fucking embarrassed myself because it took me an oddly long time to find my damn car. Once we found it we made out more and I was on my way. To my surprise, he texted me that night saying he had fun and then asked to see me again. Not too shabby.

Encounter #75.2: Shmeh

App: Bumble

Name: Marty*

Date Location:  Pipe Dream Brewing & Mel’s Funway Park – Londonderry & Litchfield, NH

Location Review:  3.5 Stars – It’s decent. I like tacky ass theme golf so Mel’s doesn’t quite deliver on that but still a solid mini course.

4.0 Stars – Good vibes. Good beer.

Date Duration: 4 hours

What Happened:

Marty and I had a decent enough time when we went out the first time so even though I wasn’t 100% sold and into him, figured it was worth giving him another shot. He was golfing in my area of the state so we decided to get a few beers when he wrapped.

I wish I had more for you but really it was just meh. We kinda just covered the same things we talked about during our first date. We were talking trash about each other’s golf games though and he brought up going to Mel’s for some mini golf.

Game was fine. We kept dicking around and things got slightly more flirtatious but nothing too exciting. He touched my lower back and that’s about it.

When we left he did make a comment that our dates were getting expensive and it was like $60 every time we went out. Here’s the thing. I really don’t care how much money a guy has. BUT if you can’t afford to do something, don’t ask me to do it with you. We didn’t have to go golfing. We didn’t even have to get beers. We could have grabbed coffee and gone for a walk. That one is on you Marty.

Later that night he asked me if I’d come over and watch a movie. Declined that invite. In the following days sent the text saying “You’re great but not for me” and he felt the same. We never spoke again.

Encounter # 75.1: Shmeh

App: Bumble

Name: Marty*

Date Location: El Rincon & Bonfire – Manchester, NH

Location Review:  3.0 Stars – Meh. Service was slow and it wasn’t anything special to ride home about. For NH I guess it’s fine.

2.5 Stars – It’s aight. If you really like country, you’ll probably like it but during the week it’s quiet. Does have live music on weekends that’s not bad though.

Date Duration: 4 hours

What Happened:

Marty and I talked on Bumble awhile back, he ended up meeting someone, and let me know. Well apparently that didn’t work out because he messaged me about a month or so after that.

Talking to him was easy and it wasn’t long until he asked me out for tacos and margs. Overall, the date was fine. The server did take like 20 minutes to get our drink order so there was a lot of awkward silence that could have been made easier with some booze.

Once we got some alcohol things were easier conversation wise. He was working with his dad in his father’s carpet cleaning business but was going to go to physical therapy school in the fall so he had goals. Did think it was kinda weird though that he still lived with his parents and wasn’t all that pressed to get out. If he wasn’t going to school I’m really not sure if he would have left tbh.

We managed to get a banter going and he asked if I wanted to keep hanging out. We moved to another bar and kept chit chatting. Really, nothing interesting. I would say weird shit just to see how he’d react and every time I did it he’d just chuckle a little so not an awful time on my part.

He walked me to my car and to my surprise, kissed me good night. No make out or anything. Just a perfectly respectable kiss with a slight hand hold. At this point in time I was trying a new thing that if I had a nice time, I would give the guy a second chance. So when he asked me to go out again, I agreed.

Encounter #73.2: Home Team

App: Tinder

Name: Owen*

Date Location: Murphy’s Taproom – Manchester, NH

Location Review:  3.5 Stars – I’ve been a few times over the years and it’s fine. The deck is really nice though.

Date Duration: 3.5 hours

What Happened:

Owen asked me out for a second date the next morning after our first. This further confirmed to my anxious ass that he was into me. Cool. This was new.

We made plans to get lunch the day after a holiday. Going in, I was kind of shocked. We both liked to drink so lunch after a day of guzzling beer was a flex. The next morning I asked what time he wanted to meet up so I could dry out my hair. We ended up pushing back until 5 that evening.

Honestly, there wasn’t too much to say about the date itself. What I liked about Owen was that he genuinely listened to what I had to say. We were talking about something in higher education and he was fully present and let me nerd out. We just kept talking about any and everything and it was really easy to connect.

At one point we talked about red flags we ignored but plowed through anyways. I said a guy tried to hook up with me while I was actively having a nervous breakdown. Apparently that was pretty fucked up in his eyes. I knew my shit related to relationships wasn’t great. I’ve allowed a lot of things that I’m not proud of. But it was an eye opening experience having someone, especially a man, see how it was wrong and be able to empathize.

He worked a weird shift so we had to call it after a few hours. He walked me to my car and then it happened. He did the look and with no hesitation, he went for it. We made out for a solid 5 minutes in the middle of the parking lot in daylight no less. Between make outs he asked if I wanted to go back with him which I declined and he was completely cool with. Instead we solidified that we would go out again when he got back from traveling in the coming weeks. With a smack on the ass, he sent me on my way.

Encounter #73.1: Home Team

App: Tinder

Name: Owen*

Date Location: Thirsty Moose Taphouse & McGarvey’s – Manchester, NH

Location Review:  3.5 Stars – I like Thirsty Moose for just getting a beer since they have so many options but it’s nothing too too special

5.0 Stars – As someone with no taste or class, I fucking love McGarvey’s. You never leave without a story.

Date Duration: 6 hours

What Happened:

I have come to find out I have a type and apparently it’s people I know from home who graduated in the class before me. We all have our things…mine is just niche AF.

One night while swiping on ye olde Tinder, I came across Owen. I had seen him on Tinder before during one of the 1000 times I was single back home and I always swiped right. Did I ever have a conversation with him in high school? No. Did I remember I thought he was hot and had a nice family? Yes. Fuck it, I got no shame. After years of failed swipe attempts, we matched.

The lead up to this date took some time. We actually matched on Bumble as well so I sent him the “Ah so we meet again, Catwoman” gif to which he never responded. This did prompt him to reignite our convo on Tinder where he told me he couldn’t place me when we matched on Bumble. I mean I thought it was a good gif and our initial convo on Tinder was fairly memorable BUT I GUESS NOT.

We were chit chatting on the app and eventually the “Where are you from?” convo happened. I played dumb as shit. “Oh you’re from where? When did you graduate? Oh that’s why I don’t know you. Small world!” It was a lie. I knew exactly who this kid was.

After much anticipation (mostly on my part) we agreed on drinks. Actually the day of the date he ended up friending me on Facebook so you know my ass panicked about this smut so I put him, and anyone I thought he was friends with, on a restricted friends list. Did not want this shit coming up off that bat. Although at first it was a little creepy that he found my Facebook, he did clarify that Tinder wasn’t working and all he searched was my first name and where I went to college. A little murdery but fuck it. I asked that if he was going to kill me to just make sure I wasn’t found for a few days so I’d look thinner.

He beat me to the bar and once I saw him he looked different from how I remembered him but also exactly the same. The face and build was the same but now he had a whole sleeve of tattoos which I just didn’t expect. Wasn’t mad about it though. Shit looked good on him.

We took a spot at the bar and got to chatting. The upside to being from the same hometown was that we had a lot to talk about. We knew the same people but also were in very different crowds so we got to fill in the details on those different high school experiences.

The downside of being from the same hometown was also that we knew the same people. I forget how it came up but he worked at the same restaurant my high school boyfriend’s family worked at so we may have spent 15 minutes talking about how much we loved my ex’s mom. Later on, it became pretty clear that his close friends are also friends with another ex I have from my hometown. So that fun little detail of who I dated came out. Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Fortunately, Owen was cool about it and didn’t seem weirded out. We did talk about how much we loved that guy’s mom too though. (I didn’t mention the third one from his graduating class I dated. Figured we covered enough of my townie dating life for one night).

Owen was cool as shit though. He was very smart which also made him witty as hell and my flavor of funny. From what I could tell, he had a fairly normal home life and only said nice things about his family. It seemed like he was close with his siblings and that they genuinely enjoyed spending time together. I still don’t quite understand what he did for work but it appeared to provide stable income so that’s always nice to see.

As usual, I couldn’t tell whatsoever if he liked me or not. At one point his knee touched mine. I pulled mine away for a bit then put it back so we were touching again. He didn’t pull away. Interesting. The bar closed earlier than we expected so he asked if I wanted to go back to his place for a drink or go somewhere else. It was at that moment I began to think he may have been into me.

I was trying this new thing where I wasn’t being a whore (shocker), so we went to another bar a few blocks down. We grabbed a table and we just kept dicking around and chatting it up. I made some comment about how I should have tried to get more free drinks when I was in my prime. He came back with, “What do you mean in your prime? You’re in your prime now. No, seriously. You’re very beautiful. Don’t sell yourself short.” <Insert wide-eyed emoji> It was such a nice and kind compliment especially considering that we walked over in the rain so I kinda looked like a sewer rat. But truthfully, I hadn’t heard the words “You’re beautiful” in years or possibly ever from a man. It’s always “You’re cute” or “You look hot” and in that moment I felt like a person and not just a sex object for once. Take note, boys. Words count.

We closed that bar down too so it was time to head home. (This was after a man with face tattoos attempted to talk to me through Owen and then a fight between face tattoos and some rando almost broke out behind us while we were closing out). He offered to drive me the 1 block to my car but I declined since it was such a short walk. (Looking back, I was being an idiot and I should have gotten into the damn car). He then asked if he could get my number. We pulled to the side and he dropped his digits in my phone. I kept staring him down. I had fun, had downed 5 beers, and there were no face masks. Your girl was ready. We hugged. And then I kept staring him down again and we were both stalling. I felt it. He was doing it too. Nothing.

We texted that night when I got home and the next morning he asked me out again a few days later. I didn’t know what to expect from Owen but, I had a genuinely nice time. There was chemistry but not in the toxic, intense way I was used to and I was so curious to see how it would pan out.