TBT: Done Fucked Up

App: Tinder

Name: Ray*

Date Location: Midfield Cafe – Nashua, NH

Location Review: 3.0 Stars – It’s a diner. Food is cheap. There’s bacon.

Date Duration: 2 hours

What Happened:

To start, let’s put it on record that I am a moron. Good? Great.

During this particular period of my life, I was stressed AF. I had been working 9 years on a goal and in 3 weeks I was going to find out if I would achieve it or not. (Spoiler, I didn’t.) On top of that, I was still salty about the whole Connor thing and was leaning towards moving to NYC in the coming weeks. Lots of shit happening.

When Ray and I connected, I had about half a brain cell left but for whatever reason this fucker was interested in my ditzy ass. He asked for my snapchat and my number so we were snapping consistently but for whatever reason still messaging on the app. My dumb ass had typed the number wrong. Awk.

We made plans to go out, I picked my favorite spot, but it started to snow. I thought I had said that we would go out the next night. I didn’t. He went to the bar that night. DAMN IT LAURA.

We decided to meet the next morning for breakfast at a diner by him. I got up early that morning, shoveled my car out of a foot of snow, enlisted a friend to help push my car out of the driveway, and somehow made it. This was going to be a story for the ages. This was how I would meet the father of my children.

That didn’t happen. Ray was probably the most boring person I ever met. Despite being from Alaska, he had nothing to say about it. Everything was “okay”. He played volleyball at school. What did Ray have to say? “It’s fun.” K.

He was graduating college in a few weeks and at this point I kind of knew deep down that I was going to be moving. Before I could send “the text” he had sent me a message that he had such a good time, even if it didn’t look like it because he was so nervous to be around “such a beautiful woman”. Shit. Damn it. I was about to be an asshole.

I sent “the text” but this one I went a little off script. I said something along the lines of, “Thank you so much I had a great time but truth be told I just don’t have the time to be dating right now and I still have some things to work out with my ex.” The ex was a new addition. I expected no response. I instead got a really nice text back saying something like, “I understand. I’m graduating soon so I’m also busy but if you ever want to hang out, even as friends let me know.”

Thanks Ray. It was real.

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Situation #2.3: The EMT Zombie

Name: Gary*

What Happened:

After our last conversation, I couldn’t help but want to stir the pot. After all, this fucker said he wanted to get a beer to reminisce about how we met. Fine. I got drunk the night before Thanksgiving and made my shot.

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Just going to glaze over that? K.

He asked for my Snapchat info and we chatted on and off for the rest of the week. Pretty much, he would only talk to me when he was working. One day, there was a tiny ass earthquake on the east coast. He Snapped me to see if I was okay and needed medical attention. I let him know that I was good and he did the thing again!

He said that if I was in need to let him know, he wanted to see me, blah blah. As it turned out he was headed to Pennsylvania in February and asked if he could crash on my couch on the way down. KAYYYY.

I agreed. TBD on if he ends up visiting let alone staying on the couch.

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