Encounter #87.1: Jonah Hill

App: Bumble

Name: Jonah*

Date Location: Volare – Revere, MA

Location Review: 4.0 Stars – Overall pretty good. Finding parking was a bitch but the food was worth it.

Date Duration: 3 hours

What Happened:

There was a lot of back and forth leading up to this one. Jonah could hold a conversation and he seemed to be a nice enough guy. When he (finally) asked me to dinner, I couldn’t say no.

He beat me there and the hostess walked me over to a guy who was facing the wall. He got up to hug me and our boy looked like Jonah Hill. Not hot Jonah. Full Super Bad Jonah. Aw, fuck.

I’m not a completely shallow bitch so I decided to stay and really get a feel for him. He really didn’t ask me too many questions and it was one of those dates where I felt like I was being put on some kind of pedestal. Like yeah, I bought a gaming laptop so I could play the Sims and mod the game but I am by no means a gamer. He was having some nerd wet dream across the table from me and I just didn’t know how to take it.

We wrapped up dinner and I was ready to gtfo. He walked me to my car and I immediately swerved to his shoulder to avoid any kind of kiss. Just was not interested.

Now I probably should have said something to him afterward but, I didn’t have his number and I didn’t feel like messaging him on the app to immediately unmatch him. So the next morning I smashed that unmatch button and went about my day. Well, apparently I chose wrong because this popped into my Facebook messenger box:

Ummm WTF?

We have all been on the recipient end of ghosting and it’s not great. However, it was one date and I didn’t have your number. How invested can either of us really be at that point? Also, what exactly was end game here? Not sure there is any good answer to expect from a question like that. Good day, sir.