Encounter #100.1: Rain Delay

App: Coffee Meets Bagel

Name: Mark*

Date Location: Crossing Nines – Quincy, MA

Location Review:  4.0 Stars – Definitely a hidden gem outside Boston. The patio gives a whole view of the Boston skyline plus the food is actually good.

Date Duration: 3 hours

What Happened:

I never meet anyone off of Coffee Meets Bagel but somehow, it happened with Mark. Conversation wasn’t particularly any which way on the app but he asked me out and I didn’t have a reason to say no. What sold him though was that not only did he give me a specific plan for the date, he also included a rain plan. My Type A ass was thrilled.

He was taller and cuter than I thought he’d be. Very blue eyes and had to be at least 6’1″. I had to give it to him. The date he picked was nice af. We were there around sunset and saw the whole skyline light up.

Mark was a nerd in all senses of the word. Worked in IT, loved board games, and had a passion for history I don’t think I’ve ever encountered. Like he knew every single everything when it came to the state of Massachusetts.

Family seemed relatively normal. He was from MA, went to school there, and didn’t want to leave. Weird to me, but okay. Was going through a bit of a weight loss journey so it didn’t seem like he knew he was cute which is always a plus. Also super liberal which I am always down with.

He talked my fucking ear off until about a beer and a half in. Because he was so nerdy, I wasn’t sure if that came from not being able to hold a conversation or that he was nervous. As the night went on, looked more like nerves.

We ended up closing the bar down and he walked me to my car. I wasn’t sure if he had a good time. Yeah he paid but that doesn’t guarantee anything.

I was kinda expecting that we would kiss but then again, you can never count on it. I miscalculated. We hugged and I went on my way just very confused as to wtf happened. He was nice. I had a decent time. But wasn’t sure where he stood.

By the time I got home I got a text saying I was beautiful and that he wanted to go out again. Guess I did okay.

Encounter #99.1: Mr. Rhode Island

App: The League

Name: Elias*

Date Location:  Shore Leave & Trillium Brewing – Boston, MA

Location Review:  4.0 Stars – I’m a sucker for a tiki bar. Fun snacks but can’t judge the sushi

4.0 Stars – They have peach beer and solid snacks. Also the patio is really nice.

Date Duration: 7 hours

What Happened:

I was just as shocked as you are that I got a date off The League. I’ve had it for years and have only ever met up with one other person. So the fact that Elias even started a conversation on there was enough to pique my interest.

Chatting with him was fairly easy. We weren’t up each other’s buttholes by any means but it was a decent conversation. He asked me out but also made me pick the place. I didn’t necessarily love that but whatever, I’ll live.

We decided to meet up at 5 p.m. which now looking back, was very early. When I got to the bar, it wasn’t open so I couldn’t find it and Elias ended up coming to find me. (It’s underneath a parking garage so heads up on that).

He was cute. (Also very sweet about me getting lost). We got to chatting and he was one of those people who could shoot the shit. We covered the basics (from Rhode Island, works as a chemist, has a younger brother, went to FUCKING BROWN for his master’s, college basketball fan, in the middle of weight loss journey). But we also talked about god knows what for an oddly long time.

Elias was also kinda funny and sweet. Out of nowhere, he said, “I just want to thank you for going out with me even though I’m only 5’9”. My heart. Then later he said I looked about 25 and it must be whatever I do in the gym. Nothing. I do nothing and it’s clear. But thank you for gassing me the fuck up.

We were having fun and he offered to go somewhere else since it was early. He had lived in the city for over 5 years so he knew the scene. We jumped in the Uber (that he paid for) and headed over to Seaport.

Here we found out that we had both dated married Brazilians before so that was a fun thing to have in common. And we just didn’t shut the fuck up. The next thing we knew the bar was closing down and we had to go.

He asked if I had ever been to the waterfront. I fucking lied. I knew what that meant. He wanted to make out and damn it, I was ready.

Well, we got there and everyone and their mother had the same idea. We sat on some random slab of granite and some couple sat next to us. It felt like he wanted to but I wasn’t going to push it.

It was late so we had to get back to catch our trains. He did hold my hand the whole way which helped confirm that he liked me. Never know these days. A few blocks from South Station he threw in,

“I really had a good time. I had a lot of fun with you.”

“Same! Was not expecting that. Never know how it’s going to go but I’m happy we met up.”

“You’re beautiful. Smart. Have a good heart. Can’t go wrong.”

Ummmm if he was trying to get me pregnant, that was the moment.

We lived on the same train line just opposite ends so I was preparing for a train station make-out. Instead, we hugged and he asked for my number. I mean I’ll take it.

And then we made plans for our second date.

Encounter #98.1: Peabody

App: Tinder

Name: Omar*

Date Location: State Beach – N/A

Location Review: N/A

Date Duration: 3 hours

What Happened:

I was in the airport coming back from a work trip and for whatever fucking reason, I decided to open Tinder and respond back to a guy from MA. Seemed cute enough. Flight was delayed. Had time to kill. Fuck it.

We we kept messaging. And then we shifted to text pretty quickly and by the time I boarded my flight I had creeped his instagram back to 2011.

We talked on the phone the next night for almost 4 hours and made plans for an actual date. Thing was, Omar couldn’t wait that long so while he was in Boston, he stopped by my area and we met up at the beach. (Just want to say that yes, I went to the beach alone at night but there were people and it was well lit.)

I had about 20 minutes to get ready so I put on my 90s aunt best. Biker shorts, crop top, and denim jacket and just hoped for the best. I beat him slightly and didn’t notice that he parked next to me. That was a good thing because apparently, he peed behind his car. (My dad peed on the side of the road on his second date with my mom. This doesn’t phase me.)

There was a weird instant connection with Omar. Both of us felt oddly comfortable with the other. It’s not that we necessarily had a ton in common, we really didn’t, but there was good banter.

Omar lived in Peabody with his uncle and was saving to buy a house. Worked in IT, went to trade school (no debt), loved sports, was in the middle of a weight loss journey (love a thick guy who doesn’t know he’s cute), and very outgoing.

Going in, I didn’t know what he was going to think. We had talked about types and his was 5’2″, petite blonde. I’m a 5’8″ thick bitch sooooo bit different. We went to cross the street to get to the water and I caught him checking out my ass. We were in business.

We made out here and there and held hands. We were both physical touch people so that was nice. It just felt so good to have an arm around me and be able to be affectionate back.

He walked me to my car and we sucked face for quite some time. Basement got flooded. But, I was excited to see him again and that was something different.

Encounter #97.1: IT Guy

App: Hinge

Name: Carlos*

Date Location: The Townshend – Quincy, MA

Location Review: 4.0 Stars – Good food. Good cocktails. Good vibes.

Date Duration: 3 hours

What Happened:

I had to give it to Carlos. Somehow over text, he came off really sweet. Was he the most attractive? No. But he took the time to plan an actual date for us that would be convenient for me to get to.

Carlos worked in something smart. Cyber security or some shit. Was an only child but was close with his cousins. Overall, fairly normal.

The conversation with him wasn’t necessarily the easiest. I definitely felt like I was carrying the team and that he was already putting me on some kind of pedestal. He really knew nothing about me but instead of asking would hold onto those random nuggets he did have.

At the end of the night, he walked me to my car. I can’t park for shit so I was a ways away in a parking garage. I felt bad that he walked me all that way so I drove him to his car. Shouldn’t have done that.

When we got to his car he went in for it and we made out a little bit. He was good, but I just didn’t want to sit on his face.

Sent him the “You’re great but…” text and we went our separate ways.

Encounter #96.1: Snooze Fest

App: Hinge

Name: Joe*

Date Location:  Margarita’s – Waltham, MA

Location Review: 3.0 stars – Standard issue Mexican fare

Date Duration: 3 hours

What Happened:

Joe and I talked for fucking ever on the app. Between traveling, work stuff, and the fact that this fucker didn’t ask me out until a few weeks in, it just took forever.

Truly, the only thing Joe and I had in common was work. We both worked in the same niche field and it was nice being able to talk shop with someone who fully got it. Other than that, not so much.

He loved soccer and would be playing/reffing nearly every night. It didn’t seem like he had many other interests. From the same area as me. Went to college in Mass. Nothing scandalous to report.

We had Facetimed and I felt like I was grilling him so I didn’t expect him to want to actually hang out. Well, he did. Did I want to go? Not really but, I hoped that it would be better in person.

It wasn’t. First off, he looked older irl most likely from not wearing sunscreen during soccer. His hair was starting to thin but he still was trying to pull his hair back into the tiniest, most baby man bun ever seen.

Conversation went exactly as it did over Facetime. Just me carrying the team. When we left we hugged and I expected to not hear from him. Oh no. He liked my energy and wanted to hang again. So had to (politely) shut it down.

Encounter #95.1: Saugus

App: Hinge

Name: Sean*

Date Location: Idle Hour – Quincy. MA

Location Review: 3.5 stars – Barely ate anything so still can’t say how it is

Date Duration: 3 hours

What Happened:

I was feeling a little ballsy so when Sean and I started chatting I did ask him out pretty quickly. I can’t explain it but, MA men like to chat for fucking centuries before asking a girl out and I was over it. If there’s a vibe, there’s a vibe.

Well it was going to be a minute until we could meet up which meant we still had to text. In the 3 days of texting it was very clear this man was boring but, I had asked him out and had to follow through.

In the 3 hours we were out, he averaged about one question an hour. It was brutal. But we kept ordering drinks so I couldn’t tell what the vibe was. Overall, he lived a boring life. He worked in supply chain analytics. Was from MA, went to school in MA, will probably die there. He did mention his family was wealthy which was odd.

When the night ended, we went our separate ways and never spoke again.

Encounter #94.1: The Dentist

App: Hinge

Name: Martin*

Date Location: Magoo’s Ice Cream – Rockland, MA

Location Review: 3.0 Stars – Decent mini-golf course and good ice cream. Not a flashy spot but it gets the job done.

Date Duration: 3 hours

What Happened:

It’s not that there was a lot of lead-up between Martin and me matching to when we met up. It was a fucking eternity.

We chatted on Hinge for over a month. During that time I went to DC, VA, FL, a wedding, turned 29, and got COVID. Lived a fucking lifetime. Overall, Martin was fun enough to talk to. He had just finished dental school and was studying to take his licensing exam. Lived a few towns over from me and came off normal. So when he asked me to hang out, didn’t have a reason to say no.

We went mini-golfing and he was cuter than his pics would have led me to believe. Very tall, and clearly had a nice body. I kicked his ass at golf and he wanted to keep hanging out so we got ice cream. Conversation was still okay but we were definitely running out of things. We decided to call it a night and he walked me to my car and we hugged.

In the days following the date, I picked up on the fact that he was not a consistent texter which I just don’t have time for. But, I kept thinking back to the fact that he was freaky active. I don’t mean go to the gym for 2 hours a day. I mean multiple spin classes followed by going to a climbing gym followed by a run. So that was weird. Not sure how to decipher that but smells like some kind of disorder.

In the end, I just wasn’t interested in pursuing it further so may have ghosted him and never heard from him again.

Encounter #93.1: San Fran

App: Hinge

Name: Victor*

Date Location: Bartaco – Boston, MA

Location Review:  4 Stars – We just drank so not sure how it is food-wise but atmosphere was nice

Date Duration: 4 hours

What Happened:

It was my birthday week so damn it, was going to be my week of 20-FINE. When Victor asked me to go out that Friday, had to say yes.

Going in, I did think Victor was going to look like an ill, victorian child based on his photos but when I saw him IRL he was really cute. Tall, decent build, no complaints.

We got a spot at the bar and started chatting. Conversation over text was good and it seemed to translate decently in person. He was from San Francisco originally but came to Boston for college so he could play soccer and then he never left. Worked in sales at some 3-D printing company and was the baby in a popular movie I will not share to keep his anonymity.

Tbh I had no idea if he liked me. At one point he asked me how I thought things were going and I blurted out, “The fuck I know. I can’t get a read on if you’re enjoying this or not”. He confirmed that he was and started breaking out of his shell more and more.

He was definitely west coast in that he was way more chill than me. But he had some moves on him. At one point there was a lull in the conversation and he just blurted out that he thought I was so attractive. So that was cool.

He found out it was my birthday week so he wanted to do something fun with me. I wasn’t looking to be out all night so we decided to walk along the water in Seaport. On the way there, he held my hand and then did this flick of the wrist thing to pull me in. Next thing I knew we were making out and it was pretty damn good. We kept walking and when we got to the water took a bench and kept making out. We were those people.

It was getting late so he walked me all the way to the train and we texted here and there the next day. Then it just stopped. And I don’t know if this is connected in any way but, I tested positive for Covid 3 days later. Curious. Very curious.

Encounter #92.1: Green Tea

App: Bumble

Name: Adrian*

Date Location: River Bar – Sommerville, MA

Location Review: 4 Stars – We just drank so not sure how it is food-wise. Was close to a parking lot and faced water so that was really nice.

Date Duration: 3 hours

What Happened:

There was some lead-up on this one. After chatting on Bumble for a bit, we moved to text, and then he had to reschedule once then I had to. Just a lot of delay so had no idea what to expect when we actually met up.

Well, there was an ass ton of traffic the day of, and then FINALLY we fucking met. I knew I had to turn it out and bring the A-game since there had been so much lead-up. So ya girl was cracking jokes left and right at the bar. Apparently so much that Adrian thought I was drunk. Nope. Just unhinged.

But Adrian was a cool guy. Grew up in Florida, was Peruvian and Brazilian, worked as a web something or other at Puma, lived by himself, and played soccer regularly. (Also had this big, bright smile I kept staring at).

Adrian could also fucking drink. Granted, I didn’t eat before I got there so after a margarita I was feeling myself. But we were joking about green tea shots and then next thing I knew 2 appeared and we chased them with another margarita.

He had some time to kill and I wasn’t about to drive like that so we walked along the water and he held my hand. Then when there was a break in the conversation he pulled me in and we kissed (made out). Adrian knew what the fuck he was doing. It was one of those where the world kinda stopped for a second.

We kept walking, I blinked, and then we were in a parking garage going at it in his back seat. Like he was all up in my titties and there may have been a slight OTPHJ. Honestly, if he didn’t have plans after we probably would have fucked. The chemistry was that intense.

Mid make out he asked if he could see me again 2 days later but I had plans. (AKA I had another date) but we established another day. He drove me up to my car, we kissed, and then I went on my merry ass way.

Encounter #90.1: Chicago Style

App: Tinder

Name: Lucas*

Date Location: Bonhoeffer’s – Nashua, NH

Location Review: 5 stars – It’s adorable and cozy as shit. Coffee is great.

Date Duration: 3 hours

What Happened:

One night while staying visiting friends I found myself swiping away. (Really, I’m just looking for people I know because I love to read the bios). But I came across Lucas and thought I’d give him a go when I saw he was from Chicago. Midwestern and New Englanders have this special bond. I can’t explain it, but I was all about it.

He offered to meet me in Boston which was so fucking sweet but since I was in his neck of the woods anyways, figured I’d save him the trip.

He was very cute and just seemed like a kind soul. He covered my coffee and we got chatting. He was an engineer and had grown up just outside Chicago. He had two sisters who he was close with and seemed like he was raised right.

We chatted for quite a while but I just couldn’t tell if he liked me or not. I couldn’t place it if it was just he wasn’t feeling it or, he was an engineer and therefore couldn’t make it obvious if he did or not.

He walked me to my car and we hugged. We had only chatted through Tinder so I didn’t have his number. I was feeling ballsy so I sent my number over. Radio silence. After 48 hours I deleted the thread out of embarrassment and that was that.