Encounter #23.1: Nice Boy

Name: Aaron*

Date Location: Quality Greens Kitchen

Location Review: 4.5 Stars – Super healthy and tasty. A cross between HoneyGrow and Chipotle. Wish there was booze.

Date Duration: 2 hours

What Happened:

Aaron was physically out of my league. By a lot. So I was shocked when he messaged first on Hinge. He asked to meet up in Hoboken to walk along the water front. I got there first so I was just dicking around on my phone texting friends in our group chat. I then done fucked it up.

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Womp. To combat this issue, I changed his name in my phone to:

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Well, he still agreed to hang out with me. I walked up to him and he was SO FINE but it felt like I already made him uncomfortable. (I mean I kinda did).

But his voice was so stiff and monotone I really thought it was all over.  I later realized that that was really his voice. We walked along the pier and he seemed to get more comfortable. We sat down and somehow within 15/20 minutes he asked if he could kiss me and we made out…for several minutes. It wasn’t too bad. The only thing was that his breath was kind of oniony and he wouldn’t let up. I love PDA, don’t get me wrong. But it was not dark enough outside to be doing that shit plus we were in an area where people take photos since the skyline is right there.

We stopped making out long enough for him to offer up dinner. We walked to the restaurant holding hands (his were so fucking dry. He needed some serious lotion). During this 7-minute walk I really started to hate him. He kept bringing up how he hated his hometown and that he was a health nut. Like no ice cream, no pizza, no fun health nut. Then by the time we got to the restaurant I learned he was bullied in high school, had body image issues, and neither were resolved.

We ate and kept chatting. Anytime he said anything, he sounded like a child. He wouldn’t curse so he used these odd made up words in their place. He also dropped the bomb that he didn’t drink. FUCK. I asked why and he said it’s because his aunt choked on her own vomit while drinking…and doing heroin and crack. I’m not a doctor, but I think the heroin and crack were  the bigger issue.

Despite not drinking, he had been in more bar fights than you’d expect. As these stories went on it seemed like his friends weren’t really his friends and either kept him around for some personal gain or because they felt obligated. Either way, these guys he hung around with sucked.

After dinner we went back to the pier. He started to kiss me again and I just wanted it to stop. I was annoyed by him and I hated how he kept making out with me nonstop. I said something along the lines of, “I get really embarrassed by PDA” (total lie) to make it end. I really wanted to get to know him to see if I was a dick or if he really was that annoying to me. Instead, we went behind a piece of playground equipment and it just kept happening and it was getting worse. His nose poked my eye.

Somehow I got him to stop sucking my bottom lip off long enough to ask him what his worst date was. He said that a girl looked really in shape in her pics and then showed up not looking like them. WOW AARON. I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU. Meanwhile I’ve fucked a dude with no electricity, was blown off for a nap, and had a guy ditch after 7 minutes. BUT YES AARON THAT DATE WAS TERRIBLE.

I was ready to call it a night and despite his offer to drive me home, I called a Lyft. He texted me that night saying he had a good time and all that shit. The next day, I had a gala for work so I was working all night. He texted me at some point wishing me luck but I was busy so I ignored it. Three days later he texted me again asking how the event went. I had just gotten home from a weekend away so I ignored it and decided I would text him later to break it off.

He called me and left a fucking voicemail.

Fuck. This guy was nice. So nice. But also wayyyy more into me than I was into him. As much as I wanted to ghost, it was too late. I had to nagasaki him.

I blocked, unmatched, then sent the text out. He had an iPhone so despite being blocked his message came through on my laptop. He seemed to take it well even though I was the biggest cunt in history. I only made out with him and gave every indication I was interested. Great work, Laura.

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Encounter #22.1: Beanie Boy

App: Tinder

Name: Beck*

Date Location: 9 Bar Cafe

Location Review: 2.5 Stars – Small space, not a lot of coffee options, hipster AF

Date Duration: 1.5 hours

What Happened:

It had been a few weeks since I had gone out with anyone. After cutting someone loose because of herpes, I felt it was time to be a little more passive with the dating game. Rather than swipe aggressively, craft answers, and make myself available I would just see what came into my inbox and go from there.

Beck opened with, “Who would win in a fight? Forrest Gump vs Tommy Pickles” Weird. I was into it. We had some banter back and forth until he asked me out for coffee. Also weird. How was I going to make it through a first date without drinking?

I made it there first and saw a hottie to my right. Was not my date upon further review. I took a seat facing the door. I was ready for a great ass date. He walked in. I looked up. I immediately wanted to leave.

He wore a beanie, had a scraggly beard, and gave the general vibe that he had not showered for a few days. Shit. And no alcohol on this date? We’re fucked.

We started talking and it was clear we would not go out again. He only asked me one question the entire time we were out. “What do you do for work?” He then told me all about his two jobs, the commute, living in NJ, how he never sleeps, why he never sleeps, what music he’s into, where his friends live, his siblings, and all the indie concerts he had been to.

After an hour or so, he said he had to go which I was more than fine with. I had to make the turn to get to the train so we hugged, went our separate ways, and I unmatched him as soon as I got on the train.

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Encounter #21.3: Brooklyn Babe

App: Hinge

Name: Khalil*

Date Location: Mills Tavern (Hoboken) and Johnny Rockets

Location Review: 3.0 Stars – Honestly I have no idea why I go to Mills. There’s nothing particularly special about it except that it’s easy to find

3.5 Stars– Mediocre food. Has a classic diner atmosphere and bomb ass shakes though

Date Duration: 16 hours

What Happened:

After flaking on me twice in three days, Khalil took it upon himself to make it up to me by suggesting a NJ date. He had me pick the spot and was really overcompensating for flaking as much as he did.

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I met him at the bar and he apologized again for bailing on me. We covered the normal small talk, he kept complimenting me on how good I looked, and did all the right things to physically say he liked me. I loved how he would keep his arm on the back of my chair, rest his hand on my knee, and take my hand. It had been a long time since I felt like “someone’s girl”, as stupid as that sounds. Really, one of the things I missed most about being in a relationship was the physical contact outside of sex. There is something to be said about being touched in a way that makes you feel important.

After we had a few drinks he suggested we head across the street for some milkshakes since he knew I loved them so much. We crushed our shakes and some cheese fries and while we walked out I asked if he had ever seen the skyline from Hoboken. By far, it’s one of if not the best views of NYC so we walked over to the pier.

On the walk over he had his hand around my waist and held my hand because it was so fucking cold. When we got to the edge of the pier, he pulled me into his side as we stared at the skyline. Then he turned to me, brushed my hair out of my face, and kissed me. HOT DAMN. Then per usual we were making out and I asked him to come back to my place. He agreed.

Side note: Let’s be real. We both knew we were going to fuck. So I have no idea why we wasted our time going out beforehand.

Within about 5 minutes of being in my apartment we were making out on the couch and ripping clothes off. I threw some Trap Nation on and we did our thing—fucking nonstop.

Things were better this time. I knew what to expect, he knew my body a little bit better so it wasn’t as painful or shocking as the first time. It was slightly weirder though. I’m not opposed to dirty talk but I really don’t like a lot of it. To me, it feels like I’m in a shitty porn and it doesn’t add anything more to the experience. However, Khalil was very into it (and kind of bad at it). The word “pussy” should be used sparingly. In the way people hate the word “moist”, the word “pussy” makes me cringe. That was his go to word. “Your pussy feels so good. Do you realize how amazing your pussy is? Your pussy tastes so good. Pussy pussy blah blah blah pussy” If he just replaced the words “your pussy” with “you” it would have been about 5 million times less awkward and actually more genuine. But he stuck to his guns and also said mid-sex, “Your body is amazing. I love how thick you are.” UHM. NEVER CALL A WOMAN THICK TO HER FACE LET ALONE WHILE YOU’RE HAVING SEX. I spend a lot of time trying to not be considered “thick” so yes, thank you for bringing that up.

If that wasn’t enough, later that night between rounds we were talking about turn ons and what we looked for physically. He said a thick or curvier woman while he slid his hand down my side. OKAY SIR. I GET IT I NEED TO HIT THE GYM. I know it was meant as a compliment but when you spend so much time trying to rid yourself of that look, it doesn’t feel great. Also I’m a size 6/8 jean and wear medium shirts. I don’t think that would necessarily count as “thick”.

I made a mistake with Khalil. We were talking about our sexual chemistry and I made a comment along the lines of, “This never happens. No one ever makes it to my apartment let alone a third date.” So now he thought he was special or some shit. Then he said, “Well I can’t wait for our fourth date, and the one after that, and the one after that.”

Here’s the thing. After that night, I made the decision that we were only going to be sex friends. I liked spending time with him, he was smart, interesting, and all that but he couldn’t really make me laugh. We had different senses of humor and I kind of found his to be annoying. He was so sexy when he would talk about his career and other things he had done but oh my god, I wanted to wring his neck whenever he tried to be funny. Also, when describing him to others I would say “He’s fine.” Fine is not the word to describe someone you want to seriously date.

He asked me when he could see me again and we picked Friday of that week. There was a bar in Hoboken I really liked for weekends and he wanted to check it out. Since he had already flaked on me twice before, I texted him at lunch asking if we were on and he responded, “On like Donkey Kong” and we decided to meet at 9.

A half hour before he was supposed to meet me he asked if he could push it back by an hour…to take a nap.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmm, kay.

I figured it would be a wash at that point so I changed out of my cute outfit and hot underwear into bum clothes, headed to McDonald’s to get a McFlurry, and parked my ass on the couch. While I was rage eating fries (the ice cream machine was broken) this fucker called me.

“Heyyy what are you up to?”

“Nothing. I’m chilling on my couch eating fries in my comfy clothes. You?”

“That sounds dope. I still haven’t left my bed. …Do you still want to do something tonight?”

“I’m not making you come to NJ to sit on my couch with me.”

“I feel so bad but Jersey is soooo far. I’m just so tired. What are you doing tomorrow?”

“I have to work.”

“Sunday?”

“I already have plans.”

“Oh. Okay, I don’t want to get in the way of your plans. Sorry again, have a good night.”

He texted me the next day and then the week after that.

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Yeahhhh I’m never going to be free. He cancelled on me 3 times and one was for a damn nap. BYE.

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Encounter #20.3: Boy From Neverland

App: Hinge

Name: Reed*

Date Location: Fat Cat Lounge

Location Review: 4.0 Stars – Super cool bar. There’s live jazz/swing music, cheap drinks, and dark lighting

Date Duration: 2 hours

What Happened:

This was Reed’s last shot. We had gone out twice and I never knew if he was fucking with me, telling the truth, or was just deflecting.

He joked that he hustled foosball at Fat Cat so I tested his skills. This may check out. He was oddly good but I kicked his ass in ping pong. (He probably let me win, but I’ll take a win wherever I can get one at this point).

As we played though I got to see a glimmer of his true self. He came from single mom, dad wasn’t in the picture at all, and since he was an only child he went above and beyond for his mom. HE’S A REAL BOY.

Aside from that it was the same bullshit. He did give me a fantastic joke about my office but other than that it was me doing most of the sharing. I may have in fact gotten drunk and over shared (and decided to write this in my alcohol glow). We were talking about how we used to write and he asked if I still did.

“Yeah, here and there.”

“Oh, what do you write?”

“I have a blog” *sips beer nervously*

“What kind of blog?”

“…dating and lifestyle”

“Am I in it?”

“…not yet”

FUCK. Then he asked me what it was called and I let him know that we weren’t on that level. So he asked for keywords. I also didn’t give those and instead said it was ridiculously easy to find. I done fucked up.

We were only out for 2 hours before he called it a night. Fuck. But then before we parted ways, (God forbid he walk me the 2 blocks to the train), he kissed me. I won’t lie. I was drunk and he was cute. I wanted a dirty ass make out. I instead got a light make out, no tongue, soft kiss. K.

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Encounter #20.2: Boy from Neverland

App: Hinge

Name: Reed*

Date Location: Ace Bar

Location Review: 4.0 Stars – Super cool spot and interesting neighborhood. They pour their drinks strong but it does get crowded.

Date Duration: 2 hours

What Happened:

I didn’t hear from Reed for awhile after we saw each other. I wasn’t sure how to take it because on the one hand I hate texting for centuries but on the other we had a fucking great time and that kiss was solid.

He texted me on Friday that week asking what I was up to for the weekend. We set the date and it was on. The bar he picked had a bunch of different arcade games so we went to the back, got our skeeball on, played some Big Buck Hunter, and I got drunk. The more we spoke the more I had no idea if he was fucking with me. He clearly had a comedic mind and could follow the first rule of improv: “Yes, and…”. For those who are unfamiliar, when you’re doing a scene with someone you can never shut down what they’re doing. Instead you go along with it and build off.

He was so good at it I couldn’t figure out what was real and what wasn’t. Did he actually go hunting? Did he really own a gun? Did he really get arrested twice? Did he have tattoos on his back? I had no fucking clue.

He built off of everything we talked about except for one thing. We were talking about bucket list items and he said that one of his items was to write a book. I asked if there was anything in particular he wanted to write or did he just want to have a book under his belt. He said he wanted to write one on his experiences. I asked if there were any in particular. He brushed it off and kept these “experiences” super vague.

He had plans for later that night and we walked until I had to turn off for my train. We kissed on the sidewalk and it was just as good as the first. Soft, minty, non-agressive, super tall.

We had another weird conversation.

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I didn’t hear from him for a week until this fucking sass happened.

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I really should have ignored it. I wanted to. But I could not for the life of me figure out this guy. So I played it chill and let him know that I had meant to respond to his last text but got caught up in stuff and would be around the next week. He began texting me like clockwork. One on a snow day, one on the Friday when I left, one when I got back, one to ask me out. Fucker was motivated and I was a masochist.

Encounter #20.1: Boy from Neverland

App: Hinge

Name: Reed*

Date Location: Brass Monkey

Location Review: 4.0 Stars – Definitely a cool spot. Their house beer is fantastic, music is cool, food is decent, it’s on the river, and there’s a rooftop bar.

Date Duration: 2 hours

What Happened:

Going in, Reed was definitely weird. But like good weird. Our initial conversation was about Garden Salsa Sunchips and within 7 messages he gave me his number and asked me out. I could dig it.

He was a lot taller than I expected. You know 6’4″ is tall but you never realize it until it’s in front of you. He was cute though. He had the nerdy, lanky, white dude thing going and I could get into it.

We got talking and it was so easy. He had a comedic mind so our conversation was just fucking with the other person and making smart ass comments. Truth be told, because we were just fucking with each other I really didn’t find out much about him. He went to Geneseo in upstate NY, was from Long Island, former frat boy, did improv in the City, Giants fan, tequila drinker, lived near the Upper East side, did a cross country road trip, was into country music, had very personal tattoos (he wouldn’t even tell me what they were, just that they were meaningful to him which I could respect), could bake shit, and he was fucking Peter Pan at Disney.  Oh hot damn.

I had a decent time for once but had no idea where I stood. Was he just fucking with me this whole time or was he also enjoying himself? We were walking the same direction for awhile and then I had to make my turn for my train stop. Then he did it. He went in for the kiss. And it was good. Super soft. And he was super tall so I had to go on my toes. (He was really that fucking tall. I’m 5’8″, had 3 inch heels on, and still had to reach for it.)

We didn’t really text that week so once again, no idea where he was at until he asked me out for date #2.

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Encounter #17.1: Hollywood

App: Hinge

Name: Todd*

Date Location: Mustang Harry’s & Bar 13

Location Review: 4.5 Stars – Awesome apps, kick ass happy hour, most delightful owner

2.5 Stars – Thank god the lights were off because it’s literally someone’s basement. Don’t blacklight anything. FIRE playlist though

Date Duration: 4 hours

What Happened:

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Oh hey, Luke Perry

I’m just going to say it. I “Liked” Todd because he looked like the guy from 90210 and I wanted to see just how much he looked like him. That was our starting point.

Leading up, we really didn’t talk. Actually the night of our original chat ended when he said he needed to do stuff for work so I should just shoot him a message when I got back from my weekend trip. Ballsy.

In my inifinite wisdom I took it like a challenge and honestly, I was kinda impressed. Instead of ghosting he just said he was busy and wouldn’t answer. (The fact this was my barometer for a decent guy says a lot).

Within only a few messages he asked me out for drinks and had me pick the bar. After a previously unsuccessful trip at Mustang Harry’s, I wanted to try it out.

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He can teach me any time

I met him at a table which was unexpected but welcome because that meant a solid possibility of food. Todd was a really good time. No lags in conversation, kept telling me I was pretty and how great I was, and he seemed to have his shit together. To top it off, he had a decent job in construction management, was Italian, loved Pitbull, lived alone, was also getting into country music, wanted to do touristy NY shit, had a close family, grew up in NY, and looked like Will Schuester in the right light (surprisingly not like Luke Perry as an FYI).

We were having such good conversation and the topic of bachata came up. He had no idea how to do it and I had always wanted to go. With no hesitation he pulled his phone out, asked if I wanted to go that night, and found a spot. Holy. Shit.

We had time to kill before the club opened so we stayed at the first bar for awhile. Out of nowhere the manager came up to us, started talking, and we got free drinks. It was at this point I realized that I was more sober than Todd. I had only had 2 beers and maybe half of my next drink. He had 2 shots, 2 beers, 1 mixed drink, and he finished mine. This is after he said he didn’t drink heavily that often. Oh Todd, you were hanging out with Laura. You will be drunk.

After we finished our last round we moved to the Latin club to get our bachata on. Everything was pretty good until we got to the club. I will be the first to say that I have no patience for other people especially when it comes to dumb questions. The club had a sign hanging from the awning that had the business name. When we got there the bouncer explained that downstairs was the Latin spot and upstairs was hip hop. Todd pointed to the sign and said “What’s this then?” It annoyed me so much for no reason. Then I realized it wasn’t the question that bothered me in this case. It was how he said it. He sounded exactly like my ex. Then as I thought about it, he had other similar tendencies which reminded me of the ex. The way he talked to the manager, how he talked about me, the other questions he asked. I couldn’t unsee it and I was incredibly annoyed on the inside.

But we were at the club and I couldn’t dip from just being “annoyed”. We ultimately headed to the hip hop club and entered a room which should never have the lights turned on let alone have a blacklight on it. No joke, it looked like a high school kid’s dream basement.

Since Todd reminded me of my ex I needed beer. STAT. So I downed 2 Coronas and somehow convinced him to also down 2 despite him already being quite drunk. Ohhh well.

We took on the dance floor and by took on I mean I was breaking shit down while he kinda stood there doing a slight straight-guy-shuffle. Every now and there I’d check in on him and we started getting pretty touchy. But not in a gross way. Actually, he was really sweet. He would pull me in, have his hand on my lower back, pull me close to talk, and keep his arm behind me as we stood at the bar. It may not seem like anything noteworthy, but it had been awhile since someone touched me in such a tender and respectful way. (Once again, these standards say a lot).

It had been a long day, Todd was sloshed, so it was time to head out. When we reached the corner to part ways, we kissed (in front of a food cart with the guy staring right at us).

We texted a few times over the weekend but when it came to setting another date, our schedules just weren’t lining up. He had to work late all week and I was heading home to see my sister that weekend. Throughout that entire time span, not one text from him. And really, I had no complaints about it. We shared a fantastic night but once again, I wasn’t 100% down, I didn’t want to string him along, and I didn’t want to have another awkward fuck.

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Encounter #14.1: Snooze

App: Hinge

Name: Corbin*

Date Location: MazMezcal

Location Review: 4.0 Stars – Kick ass margaritas but it is more expensive and doesn’t do happy hour

Date Duration: 4 hours

What Happened:

Corbin had a promising ass profile. Tall, late 20s, went to NYU Engineering School, worked at Columbia, and was very deliberate in making plans. Sign me up.

He picked a restaurant on the Upper East Side that all my coworkers raved about. That being said upon glancing at the menu, it was also a pricey spot. Do I order food? Do I stick to drinks? What’s the deal?

We met up and he was very attractive in person but within the first 5 minutes I found out he worked part-time and still lived with his parents. DRINKS ONLY IT IS.

I really don’t have a lot to say about Corbin. He was a nice guy, super nerdy, wanted to make video games, but we just didn’t click. He was very introverted and at the end of each of our sentences we added the, “Well, that’s me” along with an awkward silence and a sip of a drink. The only noteworthy thing that happened was that I laughed, tipped my head back, and slammed it on the window pane behind me.

What really sealed his fate was when he asked what I was doing on dating apps. I was honest and said that ideally I’d like a relationship but I recognize that not everyone is on that same page. I asked what he was doing. He said he wasn’t looking for a relationship which would have been fine if he wasn’t on Hinge AKA THE RELATIONSHIP APP.

One thing I will point out is that he did not do well in the check dance. I pulled out my card and instead of shooing it off we split the bill. No argument. To me that is always a little odd but this was especially weird since he was the one who picked a pricier spot. If you can’t afford it, don’t go there. There are plenty of cheaper places in the area and tbh I’m always down with a Dollar Menu.

He walked me back to my train stop, we hugged, and went on our separate ways. I didn’t text him after. He didn’t text me after. Back to the drawing board.

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Encounter #11.1: Captain Underpants

App: Coffee Meets Bagel

Name: Jai*

Date Location: Stout NYC

Location Review: 3.5 Stars – Definitely a cool spot if you’re into beer or watching sports. They have so many options which can be overwhelming though.

Date Duration: 2 hours

What Happened:

After figuring out we had previously matched on another app (and me remembering that he sent me a pic in his underwear a few months earlier) Jai and I met up for drinks.

Jai was decently attractive. Looked pretty much like his pictures, finished medical school, Italian, tall, and grew up in NY. Not too shabby.

However, he could not plan for shit. He told me to meet him in Penn Station area but did not give me a bar until 10 minutes before I had to head over. Luckily he picked a place I knew how to get to (because I had an awkward date there).

We started talking and I wanted to suffocate him with a pillow. His voice was typical Queens, NY. I love a hard NY accent. I think it’s weirdly sexy. However, some are better than others. Brooklyn accents? HOT AF. His accent? Kinda nasal, whiny, and was basically the male version of Fran Drescher. NOPE.

Despite having a voice that made you want to punch babies, he was a pretty decent time. He was super easy to talk to and I was happy that I didn’t need to carry the team on my back for this one.

Like any date there were a few awkward moments. I had come from a work event that required wrist bands so I already looked like an alcoholic let alone the fact that I chugged an Irish Car Bomb before heading over to meet Jai.

That being said, his moment was worse. He was trying to show me a picture of something but swiped the wrong way. I saw a woman’s naked titties in one photo and something that said “Cannabis” in the other. He apologized but I definitely had more questions than answers on that one.

It was getting late and I had to make my way back to NJ. I hugged him goodbye and he said,

“Oh okay. I was going to go in for the kiss there. You don’t seem into it?”

“I don’t normally kiss someone on the first date. I don’t know, I guess I can make an exception”

Then we made out. Twice. Probably shouldn’t have done that. DAMN IT LAURA, YOU HOE. I was attracted to him on a physical and intellectual level but god damn. That voice. Terrible. Nagasaki’ed.

 

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Encounter #8.1: Last Minute Larry

App: Hinge

Name: Larry*

Date Location: Lillie’s Victorian Establishment

Location Review: 4.5 Stars – Absolutely beautiful. It was all decked out for Christmas and there is a screen in the back that plays 80s music videos. Love it!

Date Duration: 3 hours

What Happened:

After an unsuccessful scheduling I wasn’t expecting to hear from Larry. But low and behold, he asked me to meet him at 6pm. I got the text at 4pm and realized that I went to work bare faced that day. SHIT. My boss sent me out to get make up, I slapped some shit on there, and headed out for our date.

We met up and immediately headed up to the bar. After we ordered I took my card out to begin the check dance. Instead of pushing the card away he said, “We can split it when we get the tab later”. I am a strong independent woman, I am able to take care of myself. But damn it, I like being treated. I feel like on the first date the man pays. I did my make up on the office floor with a tiny sponge. Least you can do is hook a girl up with a Corona.

All the seats were taken so we ended up standing to the side. There was a chair open. Larry did not offer it up and instead took it. Bad move, Larry.

As far as a first date goes, he was fine. Very Irish, went to Bentley, played soccer, works in finance, Patriots fan, and wants a big family. Still had to carry the team on my back but he was cute and seemed like he had potential to be fun. I chalked it up to first date jitters/I come on very strong and probably scared the shit out of him.

He walked me to my train stop, we hugged, and I went on my way. Truthfully, I wasn’t expecting to hear from him but I got a text asking if I made it to Jersey okay. We chatted the next day but he wasn’t giving me much to work with so I didn’t send anything after my last text. I didn’t hear from him until one month later before I went home for Christmas. He messaged me on Hinge asking if I was free that night. Not only did I have plans, but it was fucking weird that he messaged me rather than text since he had my number.

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