Encounter #67.1: Mountain Man

App: Tinder

Name: Daniel*

Date Location: Littleton Freehouse Taproom & Eatery – New Hampshire

Location Review:  4.0 Stars – For the area, this place is really cool. Decent beer selection and the snacks we had were good. Would want to check it out again in non-COVID times

Date Duration: 2 hours

What Happened:

During COVID, my friend and I would travel to random places in New England for the weekend for changes in scenery. One weekend we found ourselves up in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Curious to see what kind of people live up there, we fired up ye olde Tinder.

I quickly matched with a mountain man who sent us decent beer and restaurant recommendations. Also asked for photos of me in a swimsuit right off the bat…that was the first red flag. Please note this was after he said there are no cute girls in the mountains. I mean if that’s your strategy to get one, I can see how it hasn’t worked out.

While we were out at the bar my friend and I figured, “Fuck it. Let’s invite him.” Our boy Daniel pulled through and we made our way to the table. I want to note by we I mean me, my friend, and this random dude. My friend was about to watch me actively on a date.

Daniel was cool. Very well travelled and into all things outdoors. Really, this guy was going to do a 10-mile hike the next morning in the snow. Overall, it was a decent time. He did not pay for my $8 beer though which put me off slightly.

When my friend and I left the bar we had nice things to say about Daniel and it was nice to hear that I am not as weird on dates as I sometimes think. We joked about how funny it would be if Daniel and I got married and I became a mountain lady.

Well that dream quickly got squashed when he basically asked me to blow him in a car later that night. I declined.

Encounter #66.1: Trip to Nowhere

App: Bumble

Name: Asher*

Date Location: Stillwater – Boston, MA

Location Review:  4 Stars – All I have to say about that menu is wow. Absolutely delicious from start to finish. Just wish parking was slightly easier to find.

Date Duration: 2.5 hours

What Happened:

During lockdown, I would visit one of my good friends at her apartment in Boston. After the break up, I was a sad fuck and wasn’t ready to date. I was ready though to make fun of men’s shitty profiles.

Every time I visited we would fire up my accounts and she would swipe for me to see what on earth was out in the wild. One of her finds though wasn’t too bad and stuck beyond the weekend. Asher and I texted here and there and despite the fact that I left him on read for days at a time, he asked me out to dinner.

I wasn’t sure what to expect. The photos were pretty all over the place but on paper it seemed like he had his life together. He was in his early 30s, worked in finance, and owned a condo by The Garden in Boston. Not too shabby. He also went to University of Maryland so we had a lot to talk about when it came to ways to consume Old Bay.

He beat me to the restaurant and although I was happy he looked like his best pic, I wasn’t completely sold. I figured I had already driven down there, maybe there would be a spark or something.

Asher wined and dined the fuck out of me. Like wow. Drinks, apps, entree AND he brought up dessert. Tbh I can’t remember the last time a man had taken me out like that. For that, I give him credit.

Everything else though just didn’t work. Despite being in his 30s, he was still quite attached to the fraternity he was in in college. It wasn’t just “I keep in touch with my brothers” or, “Most of my friends came from the frat”. Every single story this man told was from 10+ years prior with these guys. Somehow everything under the sun could somehow tie back to this shit.

What was weird about Asher was that despite having some fun stories he was such a grump as a person and we were just polar opposites. He hated traveling and didn’t see the appeal of it. Never in my life have I met anyone who was fine with never seeing or experiencing anything different. Blew my god damn mind.

After a few hours I was very much over it and made some excuse to go. He paid for the whole thing, walked me to my car and even brushed the snow off which I appreciated. We went on our separate ways and never spoke again but, I was back out there. I mean I fucking hated it and went back on a break from dating but, I was treated like a fucking lady and it was kinda nice.