Situation #5.1: This Escalated Quickly

Name: Grant*

App: Tinder

What Happened:

I had forgotten to turn off my Tinder card when travelling to Maryland. When I got back to NJ I was swiping away and unknowingly matched with Grant from the Baltimore area. We chatted, he said where he lived, and I stopped responding. No harm, no foul.

About one month later he messaged me out of the blue and tried to get me to meet him in Philly. WTF. I don’t know you. That being said I was in a weird place and was seeking attention so when he asked for my number I gave it. We texted the rest of the day and by dinner time I realized I was being stupid, was using him, and needed to stop.

Since we hadn’t gone out, I didn’t think it was a big deal to ghost him. We literally talked for less than 24 hours. So I Nagasaki’ed him by unmatching him on Tinder and blocking his number.

Here’s the thing. When you have iMessage hooked up to a Mac and they also have iMessage, you still get the messages on the computer even if you block them on your phone. (You have to block the Apple ID in case you’re wondering). And then one day I found this slew of shit.

Baltimore text


A month later I get a DM on Instagram

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Really? We got “disconnected”? Bitch, you know I unmatched you and have actively been ignoring you. Don’t play coy with the “suggested user” bullshit. You’re being a creeper who won’t let go of something that never panned out. Baltimore is a big place, you’ll find someone there. Why are you wasting your time and effort with a bitch who lives in NJ? Let it go, bruh. BLOCKED.


screenshots batch 2 (1).png

You’re. Fucking. Kidding Me.

24 hours after the initial message on Instagram AND blocking him on the platform, I get this shit. Men say women are crazy. Oh, no. Men are just as nuts. Please explain to me why stalking me 2 MONTHS LATER is a good use of your time. If I didn’t respond then there’s no reason for me to now.

After that, I sent a message along the lines of:

In case I have not made myself abundantly clear by unmatching with you on tinder, ignoring your texts, and blocking you on instagram; I do not want a relationship with you nor do I want contact with you. Do not contact me again or I will be forced to seek legal counsel.

I wasn’t fucking around. After that was sent, I blocked him on Facebook and began locking up my social media accounts. All he needed was my phone number and he found all my shit.

A part of me wonders if I should have just texted him that day and said, “Listen you’re great but we’re wasting each other’s time since we’re 4 hours apart”. But I really didn’t think a 12-hour conversation really warranted that much and I’m not telling someone they’re great if I haven’t verified it. It’s not like we talked about anything deep and had some beautiful connection over text. (And people say women are clingy…)

If there is one lesson to be learned from this it’s to be selective about who gets your number.

1. Don’t give it if you’re not feeling it

2. If possible, only give it after you meet in person and can make a full opinion

Men can be creepers and unfortunately the world we live in doesn’t always reprimand them for it. Be safe out there!

Note: Let it be known that this was going to be an Honorable Mention but he upgraded his ass to Situation real quick


Situation #1.1: Creepy Old Dudes

Name: Craig? and Scotty

Location: Fager’s Island – Ocean City, Maryland

Location Review: 4.5 Stars – I have a soft spot for Maryland but I also love trashy dancing, drinks, and being on the beach more than anything.

What Happened:

My college roommate and I hadn’t seen each other in years and just wanted to dance our asses off. Best place to do that? Ocean City, Maryland! It’s so delightfully trashy but the bars are super fun, there’s tasty food, and lots to see.

We went out to Fager’s to eat and get a few drinks before things picked up. While we were out on the water taking photos these 2 old guys (not the “George Clooney sexy” kind. The “hat-wearing, sunglasses strap, creepy” kind) came up and offered to take our photo. Fine. They take the pictures, we chatted, and found out that they were alums of our college. One even made a comment about how much older they were and that they were old enough to be our dads.

They insisted on buying us drinks and we were broke so we agreed. Then the unwanted flirtation began. We both got uncomfortable and tried to sneak away but they wouldn’t leave us alone. We headed back out onto the water because we, as in my roommate and I and nobody else, wanted to snap pics. Alone. But they came anyways.

Eventually they began asking what we were planning on doing that night. We kept giving the vague, “I don’t know yet. We’re still figuring it out”. But they whipped out the phones and asked for our numbers. FUCK. I put in my fake name and in a moment of wisdom, my ex’s number.

Scotty texted the number immediately and my ex responded. Immediately. Scotty turned to me and goes, “Wow, you already forgot my name. You’re fast though. I didn’t even see you take out your phone”.

FUCK. I pulled my roommate, made up something about needing to shit, and ran out of the bar. I called my ex because alcohol told me to, explained the situation, and apologized. He was cool with it but lesson learned: put your friend’s number. Never a boy’s.