Encounter #58.1: Gay or European?

App: Tinder

Name: Andre*

Date Location: Atlas Public House – Jersey City

Location Review:  4.0 Stars – I wish I had been to this place sooner. Happy hour deals were on point, food looked good, and had good vibes overall.

Date Duration: 3 hours

What Happened:

Andre had that je ne sais quoi quality that made me want to learn more. Based on his photos he was either really really hot or busted as shit and I needed to find out.

He lived on the other side of my neighborhood which was a huge plus and he was from France so he had a lot in common with my Canadian ass. When he asked me out it felt oddly respectful. He didn’t tell me where we were going but to meet outside the McDonald’s by one of the train stations. Different vibe but I was there for it.

He walked up and fortunately looked like his hot pictures. Halleloo! He was quite tall, probably 6’5″, dark hair, and dressed all cute and European. We walked a few buildings down to this bar neither one of us had been to yet.

I want to say conversation was good but tbh I had no idea what he said for the first 15 minutes. He had a pretty thick French accent, the music was a hair too loud, and I was sitting just far enough away that I had to gauge the whole conversation on his facial expressions. Eventually I got the hang of things and we managed to have a normal conversation.

We had a lot in common. With him being French and my family being from Canada we had a lot to talk about. There were certain foods our families made, we knew Celine Dion’s best work, and we both could appreciate old ass French names.

There were a few differences. To start, I’m trashy AF. We were talking about dating and in France they like to get as close to a person without actually kissing them. This is why hand kisses are a thing there. I then told him that in NJ, we shove tongues down the other’s throat. Oops.

Weirdly enough, we had the SAME music taste. Lady Gaga, Kesha, and Pitbull. Also, we both frequented gay bars and loved to dance. Perhaps a red flag? Or, possibly the best thing to happen to both of us?

We had a few drinks and it was starting to get a bit late. We were headed in the same direction so we took the train together. Before we split we went to the side to say our goodbyes. He said, in what I took to be a flirtatious tone, “We can do this the French way”. I took this the wrong way. I went in thinking we were going to le French kiss. So I went in, he swerved, I realized what happened, and we both went “OH GOD. Sorry!” We hugged, I went on my way, and never spoke again.

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Encounter #59.1: The Wrestler

App: Hinge

Name: Rhett*

Date Location: The Cuban – Hoboken, NJ

Location Review: 4.5 Stars – Really nice spot where you can hear each other and it just feels warm and romantic

Date Duration: 3-4 hours

What Happened:

Almost immediately after matching on Hinge, Rhett asked for my number and we got to it. Even though we didn’t message much, he seemed weird and my flavor of funny.  Plus he lived in Hoboken a few buildings down from one of my friends so there was a huge convenience factor.

He walked in and was definitely attractive. Like I would consider slightly out of my league but THERE WE WERE. We started drinking and conversation was wicked easy. He also hated making small talk over text so we had tons of stuff to cover.

He worked in some kind of tech sales and clearly came from money. He went to one of the most expensive private high schools in our area, grew up in a BOUGIE town in NJ, and while we were on our date his family was sitting in box seats at Madison Square Garden. Casual. He told me that when he was in high school he just had to get a job to get a car. Meaning he did not have to succeed in this job and save money. Literally all someone needed to do was say “You’re hired!” and his dad would buy him a decent car. WHAT.

Money aside, he was fucking cool. We kept roasting each other and for the first time in awhile, I was enjoying myself. I noticed his ear was all fucked up and asked if he wrestled growing up. He said jokingly responded, “Oh yeah, just point out my deformities. It’s cool. But yeah, good catch.”

At one point he asked how I liked the bar. I told him it was nice and it had been awhile since the last time I was there. He then told me he wanted to pick somewhere where we could actually talk, hear each other, and get to know the other. A boy planned a date?! WTF.

He did have some red flags though. He had told me about a few of his past relationships and a few things stuck out. He had cheated before which I could get over but more importantly, he had broken up with a girl because she wanted to get married one day which was a bit real for me. It was the first date so I figured I’d get to know him a bit better before judging anything.

We eventually moved from the bar to a table because he didn’t want to keep craning his neck to look at me. Before we could move, we had to close out the bar tab. I went to get my card to pay and he immediately shooed it.

Conversation continued at the table (and I even got some snacks). At one point he coyly looked down then back up at me and said, “So I had fun. I mean if you’d want to do this again I’d be down”. I agreed.

The bartender seemed pretty keen on getting out so we closed out (he paid again) and he walked me to my Uber a few blocks down. When we got to the car we kissed. It was really good. He knew what he was doing, I could feel how muscular his back was through his shirt, and he smelled amazing.

He had told me straight up that he was a shitty texter so I didn’t really expect much from him after the date. The Sunday after our date I asked if he was free and would want to meet up again. He agreed and we decided on the Tuesday of that week with the intention of solidifying plans the day of.

Tuesday rolled around so I followed up. 91531239_3092566164089135_4134750722208038912_n.jpg

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Never heard from again.

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