Hot Girl Summer ended? Time for Thotumn. Ship, Hinge, Bumble, The League, and Tinder. It’s going to be a fucking ride but this time, we’re wearing seatbelts.
So I present to you my 10 Commandments of Dating. I mean they’ll probably go out the window when I’m drunk and desperate but a bitch gotta try.
- Projects cannot becometh relationships
- If thou art not feeling it, fucking leaveth
- If ‘t be true thy date sucks balls, kisseth not that gent to saveth the courtship
- If ‘t be true thou art not excit’d to go out with that gent, fucking cancel
- Nay to sex on the second date
- Thy gent wilt has’t a savings account
- A sir at each moment sayeth what that gent means. Twisteth not to heareth what thee wanteth
- If ‘t be true thee cannot standeth his family, fucking runneth
- Thee cannot beest his sugar mama
Thy gent wilt maketh thee cum
Here goes fucking nothing.
THIS IS THE TRUEST THING I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE.