Throwbacks – #DatingLaura

TBT: Done Fucked Up

Published on June 7, 2018June 21, 2018 by datinglauraLeave a comment

App: Tinder

Name: Ray*

Date Location: Midfield Cafe – Nashua, NH

Location Review: 3.0 Stars – It’s a diner. Food is cheap. There’s bacon.

Date Duration: 2 hours

What Happened:

To start, let’s put it on record that I am a moron. Good? Great.

During this particular period of my life, I was stressed AF. I had been working 9 years on a goal and in 3 weeks I was going to find out if I would achieve it or not. (Spoiler, I didn’t.) On top of that, I was still salty about the whole Connor thing and was leaning towards moving to NYC in the coming weeks. Lots of shit happening.

When Ray and I connected, I had about half a brain cell left but for whatever reason this fucker was interested in my ditzy ass. He asked for my snapchat and my number so we were snapping consistently but for whatever reason still messaging on the app. My dumb ass had typed the number wrong. Awk.

We made plans to go out, I picked my favorite spot, but it started to snow. I thought I had said that we would go out the next night. I didn’t. He went to the bar that night. DAMN IT LAURA.

We decided to meet the next morning for breakfast at a diner by him. I got up early that morning, shoveled my car out of a foot of snow, enlisted a friend to help push my car out of the driveway, and somehow made it. This was going to be a story for the ages. This was how I would meet the father of my children.

That didn’t happen. Ray was probably the most boring person I ever met. Despite being from Alaska, he had nothing to say about it. Everything was “okay”. He played volleyball at school. What did Ray have to say? “It’s fun.” K.

He was graduating college in a few weeks and at this point I kind of knew deep down that I was going to be moving. Before I could send “the text” he had sent me a message that he had such a good time, even if it didn’t look like it because he was so nervous to be around “such a beautiful woman”. Shit. Damn it. I was about to be an asshole.

I sent “the text” but this one I went a little off script. I said something along the lines of, “Thank you so much I had a great time but truth be told I just don’t have the time to be dating right now and I still have some things to work out with my ex.” The ex was a new addition. I expected no response. I instead got a really nice text back saying something like, “I understand. I’m graduating soon so I’m also busy but if you ever want to hang out, even as friends let me know.”

Thanks Ray. It was real.

TBT: The Set Up

Published on February 1, 2018February 14, 2018 by datinglauraLeave a comment

Name: Brian*

Date Location: Strange Brew Tavern – Manchester, NH

Location Review: 3.0 Stars – If you’re a beer person, absolutely recommend. There’s tons to choose from. It’s great for week nights but I wouldn’t recommend for weekends. You end up in a room which looks like a frat house basement and run into people from high school.

Date Duration: 4 hours

What Happened:

After two unsuccessful dates, it dawned upon one of my best friends that I should go out with her friend. Apparently he was a funny guy, had a similar sense of humor, and was cute. Fuck, I got nothing to lose. She gave him my number and it began.

We texted CONSTANTLY. She was spot on. We joked the same way and had similar views on things. We were texting so much that my mom knew something was up and asked me who I was talking to. This is when I came clean about dating. I don’t know why, but I was really secretive about it. I didn’t want to keep having unsuccessful dates and have my family think that there was something wrong with me, I was a hoe, or whatever else parents can judge you for.

I rolled up to good ole Strange Brew. On the way in he texted me saying to look for the most good looking guy in the room. But then this man flagged me down, and I realized that this guy was my date. Shit. Well, I already came this far and did my hair. I was locked in.

I had great conversation with him. He was respectful, nice, and decently funny but in addition to not wanting anything physical with him, I kind of got the gay vibe. Also, that would explain why we got along so well…

My friend and her boyfriend ended up crashing our date which I was more than fine with. I needed a distraction to plan my out. After another drink I found my opening to leave and took it. Hoping I’d just be able to run out and text message break up this bitch, he walked me to my car. Fuck.

We got to my car and he said how he had such a great time and would like to do it again. At this point in time, I did not have my sea legs. So I responded with, “You know you’re such a great guy and I had a good time. I don’t want to lead you on, I’m just not feeling this romantically”. He looked like he took it well and said he could respect that.

I later found out that when he went back into the bar he immediately ordered shots and got pretty drunk. A few months later, he started dating a friend of mine from way back (named Lauren. Boy got a type for the Laur). They also didn’t work out but at least I got a “set up” under my belt and my friend and I have a great story.

TBT: The Hooks

Published on November 30, 2017January 18, 2018 by datinglauraLeave a comment

Name: Connor*

App: Tinder

Situation Duration: 5 Months

What Happened:

After a few unsuccessful first dates I found myself back on Tinder swiping away. Everything was business as usual until I came across Connor’s profile. I had known Connor from high school and always thought he was cute. Tall, smart, funny, dog person, and had a really nice set of hands. (I like a man who can palm a basketball, come at me). Immediately I swiped right thinking nothing would come of it.

Then one night while out for margs I got the notification. I MATCHED WITH CONNOR. HOLY SHIT BALLS. I may or may not have done a small happy dance in the restaurant. My friends convinced me to message first and it just went from there.

Connor and I’s first date was at my favorite spot in NH. After making jokes at some guy’s expense at the bar, I apparently made a decent impression on him. We went out again, and again, and again until we were seeing each other every week for about 5 months.

I’ll admit. I didn’t just fall for Connor. I fell fucking hard. He checked off all the boxes on my “list”, was a genuinely good person, and never made me feel stupid for the way I viewed the world. We connected on some unique things that I may not “look for” but are welcomed bonuses. Also he would remember all the small, weird shit I’d say and could make me laugh all the time. (And best sex. Hands down. Holy shit. No joke, I would give a kidney for that).

After about 3 months of this I wanted to know where it was going. After all, we were seeing each other every week and I didn’t know how to answer the “Do you have a boyfriend?” question at bars. We went out for dinner and while we were parked in his car on the way back he referred to me as “the girl he’s been seeing”. I responded with:

“Oh, we’re dating now?”

“Oh? Casually seeing?”

“No that was a genuine question. What is this?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to lead you on but I also don’t know if I want a relationship right now”

“Want to just do what we’re doing for the next 2 months and figure it out?”

“Sure”

And then we made out. A lot.

I was okay with his answer…at first. His last relationship ended with him finding out his girlfriend cheated on him. I completely get that he had some shit to figure out. But I’m also a fucking nut job and love to ruin things.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it. What was I doing? Why did I like him so much? Should I break up with him? How do I even break up with him if we’re not dating? But he was a fucking fantastic person and I was happy when I was with him. SHIT.

I of course, never said anything. After another few months of great dates, wonderful conversations, and several rolls in the hay, I never heard from him again. (Excluding Snapchat)

The last time I saw him we got drinks, hung out at his place, fucked, and I was there until the afternoon. I left and that was it. I wanted him to reach out so bad. I felt like it was no longer my place to keep setting up dates if he didn’t really want it. Who knows, maybe he was waiting for me to reach out and that was my mistake. Both of us were just as capable of sending a text and I was being petty. I should have just done it, asked him point blank what was up, and gone from there. But I didn’t.

About 2 months after we had last seen each other I decided to move to NYC and I still held out a sliver of hope that he’d reach out. I even drunkenly snapped him on my birthday and texted him the next day to apologize hoping it would start a conversation. It didn’t. I invited him to my going away party as a last ditch effort. Not to start anything with him but more to close that door. He went up to the lake instead…with a girl…who he’s now dating (so much for that whole not wanting a relationship thing. BUT I DIGRESS).

By far, this has been the toughest “relationship” I ever had to get over because there was no definitive end and we only had positive experiences together. It’s not like I could blame it on the fact that we fought all the time, didn’t have anything in common, or had terrible sex.

My one regret was not having the balls to be honest because I got nothing out of keeping my feelings to myself. What would have been the difference in my life if I had said something and the feelings weren’t returned vs my life now? Fucking nothing. I didn’t say anything and we still ended up not talking.

The question I get all the time is if I’m over him. Yes but no (This one Jason Mraz song explains it so much better than I can). If he called me right now, you can bet my pathetic ass would pick up. At the same time I’ve realized that given the current circumstances of both our lives, it won’t happen so there’s no point in staying on his hook. If we’re meant to be, it will happen either in this life or another but I’m not going to lock myself away in a tower waiting for something that isn’t possible.

But most importantly, I see he’s happy and it would be incredibly selfish for me to reach out and ruin that. It may suck sometimes to look back on and accept, but it’s reality. As strange as it may be to say, I’m oddly happy that he’s happy. We both were put through the relationship ringer in 2016 and to see that he came out on the other side gives me weird, bittersweet, hope for myself.

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TBT: The First Date

Published on November 23, 2017January 12, 2018 by datinglauraLeave a comment

App: Bumble

Name: Miles*

Date Location: Strange Brew Tavern – Manchester, NH

Date Duration: 4 hours

What Happened:

After my 6-year relationship ended I had no idea what to do. I never “dated” since my ex and I got together in high school then stayed together through college. All I knew was that while I lived with my parents and only hung out with female friends, I needed a way to meet men.

I downloaded dating apps and one night was swiping through Bumble. I matched with Miles* and we began chatting. Based on his photos, he was pretty cute, outdoorsy, and liked to stay relatively active. I asked him out and we went from there.

Little thing to note, we had talked A LOT on the app. Since this was my first attempt at dating I wasn’t sure when to bring up a date or if he would do it himself. So we had already covered a significant amount of ground before meeting up.

After nearly peeing myself from nerves, I made it into the bar. He did not look like his photos. I could bench press him. But hey, he seemed like a nice guy and I have no idea what dating is so FUCK IT.

He was really sweet. He found out that I co-hosted a morning radio show and he told me that he listened in that morning. Also when he found out that I love Straight Outta Compton he listened to the soundtrack on a trip up north with his friends.

But after a few drinks, I kinda knew this wouldn’t go anywhere. He had that “lives with his mom” quality and since we already covered so much ground, had nothing else to talk about. Because I didn’t want my first date to be a bust, I went full Resident Assistant and pulled questions out of thin air.

Despite him making a “Wow, we had such a great date since it was 4 hours” comment, I never heard from him again and I was so happy about it. I had done the impossible. I went on a first date and didn’t get murdered. I did something I never thought I would have to or even could do. But I did. And it opened a new door of my life. THANKS MILES.