Encounter #73.4: Home Team

App: Tinder

Name: Owen*

Date Location: Yankee Lanes & Murphy’s Taproom – Manchester, NH

Location Review:  4.0 Stars – Are you taking your life into your hands going here? Maybe. But $20 all you can bowl after 9:30pm is a solid deal.

3.5 Stars – I’ve been a few times over the years and it’s fine. The deck is really nice though.

Date Duration: 19 hours

What Happened:

This was going to be THE night. We had made plans the day after I had a wedding and despite being hungover AF, I was going to hang out with Owen and we were going to have sex.

I checked in with him earlier that day gunning to be invited to his place and he suggested that we go bowling. *Sigh* Alright, I guess I can keep it in my pants for a few more hours. I met him at the bowling alley and things were going pretty well. Not only was I starting to catch up with him on the score board but, conversation was good. I also noticed that when we were sitting next to each other we were touching.

We had just started our third string when the fire alarm went off and everyone was evacuated. Was this God helping me get laid? I made the eyes at him in the parking lot and he asked if I wanted to get a drink somewhere. Fiiiiiiiine.

As expected, the conversation was great. We were connecting. We covered some of our baggage. (I even saw someone we went to high school with walk by). And we closed the bar down.

Owen walked me to my car and I was giving him the “fuck me” make out. He had me up against the car and I kept pulling him into me. Finally, I heard the long awaited words, “Do you want to get out of here?”. Don’t have to ask me twice.

His place was nice. Hood adjacent. But still, pretty nice. It didn’t take long for things to get going and because I don’t want ALL our shit out there, all I’ll say was it was good. Like, really fucking good. I had no complaints and he was very focused on making sure I enjoyed myself.

He was also so sweet. After we had sex we were all snuggled up making out and chit chatting. Pretty much the entire time he was petting my hair or rubbing my back which I loved. He also asked me if I had wanted him to kiss me on our first date. When I told him yes he let out a, “Damn it, I KNEW it but I just wasn’t thinking. God, that was so lame for me to ask for your number”. It was really cute. He also kept pulling me into him saying how he liked how weird I was, kissing my forehead, and that he liked spending time with me. Just very sweet.

We stayed up until 5/6am and when we woke up for real around 10 he offered to get bagels. My heart. It absolutely poured the rest of the day so we spent it inside playing games, making out, and having bomb ass sex. Really the whole thing just felt very comfortable.

Owen really surprised me. I kept expecting him to do something shitty like all the other men before but he seemed to be a genuinely kind person. It was after that weekend I decided to take a chance, turn off all the apps, and see what the fuck would happen.

Encounter #75.2: Landscaper

App: Tinder

Name: Ethan*

Date Location: La Festa Brick & Brew – Dover, NH

Location Review:  3.5 Stars – Cute spot, pizza was decent, lovely customer service.

Date Duration: 7 hours

What Happened:

Our first date was pretty damn good so I was anxious to meet up with Ethan again. Was I incredibly horny? Yes. Was that the majority of why I wanted to see him? Also yes.

We decided to keep it low key since he was a little wigged out by Delta variant so I parked at his place, we packed a cooler of drinks, grabbed pizza, and chilled in the park.

Like last time, conversation was easy. He was high energy and we could make each other laugh. He was also very sweet with physical affection. When we finished our pizza we decided to walk around a bit and he was holding my hand the whole time and would pull me in for a kiss at the right moments.

Eventually we made it to this wooded path and we pulled over to the side to sit on a random ass slab of granite. As you can expect, we made out. He asked if I’d go back with him (mostly so I could pee) and he held my hand the whole way home.

His apartment was nice. It was multiple floors and it looked like Ethan and his roommate genuinely tried to make it look nice.

Ethan threw something random on the tv and it didn’t take long for us to start making out. Now, this is where I think I was too aggressive. I was DTF in a way I hadn’t been in awhile so I got on top of him and just laid on the “fuck me” make out. He took forever to make his move. Eventually he asked if I wanted to take things upstairs.

When we got there, I’m pretty sure I terrified him because it was clear we just had different styles when it came to the bedroom. Not long into things he went to grab a condom and I made some comment like, “Ohhh we have plenty of other things we can do” and then made him touch me since it didn’t seem like he was going to take the time to work on me.

After some mediocre efforts on his part we finally had sex and it was meh. Really I did most of the work. I brushed it off as it was an initial encounter and he was nervous. But we had sex again shortly after and it was the same shit. NEXT.

We were both busy the week after and couldn’t hang out. Tbh I kinda just wanted him to ghost me or end it since I had a more promising player on the roster. Eventually he asked me out again and I had to break it off. What was weird though was that apparently he also kinda wanted to break it but didn’t want to hurt my feelings. I mean fine but YOU ASKED ME OUT SOOOOO. Pretty sure he was just trying to save face. Nonetheless, it helped make the decision that I was going to focus on one person and stop being a skank.

Encounter #73.3: Home Team

App: Tinder

Name: Owen*

Date Location: Mel’s Funway Park, Pipe Dream Brewing & Buffalo Wild Wings – Litchfield, Londonderry, & Manchester, NH

Location Review:  3.5 Stars – It’s decent. I like tacky ass theme golf so Mel’s doesn’t quite deliver on that but still a solid mini course.

4.0 Stars – Good vibes. Good beer.

N/A – It’s a BWW.

Date Duration: 5 hours

What Happened:

It had been over a month since the last time I saw Owen. His work schedule sucked plus we were both out of town on the weekends. But, we did text every day in the time between and it seemed like we both wanted to see each other.

Because of this long delay, Owen felt kinda bad and said he wanted to make it up to me with a cheesey ass date. OH OKAY OWEN I SEE YOU. We picked mini golf and talked trash in the days leading up. This was going to be the match to end all matches.

We didn’t end up keeping track of scores. We gave ourselves fake names, dicked around, and spoke in Australian accents as the other went up to putt. He looked especially handsome that day so I was a bit distracted and we hadn’t seen each other in so long that there was a lot to cover.

It was hot as balls that day so after sweating our asses off we needed beer. Just like last time, it was easy to connect. I don’t even remember what exactly we talked about but there weren’t any awkward pauses. Really, I wish I had more juicy details to share but it was nice conversation with a good human. He did end up keeping our scorecard though.

Things did get spicy though when the bar closed down. Since it was a Sunday, the brewery closed early. Owen walked me to my car and asked if I was up to anything. I didn’t have plans. He didn’t have plans. So we decided to have no plans together. He was really craving wings so we decided to go to another spot. It was then in broad ass daylight we made out in the parking lot. He got a little spicy here. I was wearing shorts and I felt him slide his hand up my leg a bit. Oh baby.

When we got to Buffalo Wild Wings, we were definitely a bit closer than we normally were in that when we sat down at the bar, our legs and arms were touching. I am 1000% a physical touch person so small things like that go a long way in my book. Things were looking promising.

I will admit, I went into this date with full expectation to fuck. Provided that we weren’t awkward from not seeing each other, I figured it would happen. I showed up shaved and with extra underwear and condoms in my purse. It was getting late for him so it was time for us to wrap up. He gave me his arm (what a gent), walked me to my car, and we started getting into it.

Owen had a bit more edge than I thought so instead of just kissing me this time, he had me laid out on the side of my car. Alright, basement flooded. However, we were in a mall parking lot and very exposed. For those who have been long time readers, you know that this is my norm. I will lick anyone anywhere. However, I have noticed that making out in a parking lot in NH is a bit more exposed than sucking someone’s face on a street corner in NYC. Like people were flicking their lights at us and yelling shit from their windows as they drove by.

I think Owen knew where I was pushing things to go but it was late and he really needed to go to bed. He did say that we needed to set up a sleepover soon though. *Sigh* I s’pose I could hold out a little longer. (Low key though, I was fine with this. There was a moment where I realized he ate spicy wings and I wasn’t sure how that was going to pan out on my bits if we fucked. Rather not burn my kitty). We eventually went our separate ways home but as soon as I pulled into my driveway I saw a text from him and smiled like a fucking loser.