Encounter #70.1: Turkish Delight

App: Tinder

Name: Hugo*

Date Location: Hops N Scotch – Brookline, MA

Location Review:  4.0 Stars – Food was really tasty and the menu had a lot of fun stuff. Cocktails were also good and atmosphere was warm.

Date Duration: 2 hours

What Happened:

Hugo got through on a “How Hot Can I Bag” technicality. His photos were promising but I will say lower res. Once he opened with the lyrics to County Roads I let him slide.

Going in, things were pretty good conversation wise. He grew up on the Greek/Turkish coast and was very career motivated. He seemed to like what he did for work, was good at it, and was looking to buy a house in the next year or so. Love an established king.

He was quick to make plans which was much appreciated. He beat me to the bar so I got a good look at him as I walked up the block. Not exactly what I expected not gonna lie. Not bad but, thought he’d wear something besides a hoodie and sneakers. Also looked like one of my friend’s dads. Weird vibes.

The conversation was fine overall. He asked a lot of questions about me which was a nice change for once. He did tell me questionable stories though. Got a lot of stories about being angry, calling friends out, that kind of thing. In that same breath he also apologized for literally ANYTHING. We got boneless wings and while he bit into one, a drop of sauce fell on his jeans. Not a huge deal. He was low key freaking out and kept laying on how sorry he was. No idea what his last relationship was like but, that’s not my vibe at all.

It was raining and I had an hour drive ahead of me to get home so we called it a night. He walked me to my car and in the walk over it was very clear that he was way more into me than I was him. He kept touching me and I was so happy I was wearing a face mask because I did not want to have that awkward good bye kiss situation.

We got to the car and I saw that he wanted to do it. He kept bringing up how much fun he had and I recognized the look in his eyes. Mama wasn’t having it. Gave an awkward hug and did not remove the face mask until I was in the car with the door shut and locked. Honestly, best fucking part of the face mask area. Gets you out of so many uncomfortable interactions with men.

We texted for a day or two after since I was on the fence on if I really didn’t like him. He slipped a few stories that further cemented the anger thing and I Nagasaki’ed the guy.

The EMT Zombie: UPDATE

Name: Gary*

Recap:

Several years ago I passed out and the EMT who came to check on me was quite attractive. So good looking that when I regained consciousness the first thing I blurted out was, “You’re really attractive”. We had a weird flirtation in the month or so after we met, then on and off for about a year or so, and we hadn’t spoken since.

UPDATE:

While being back in NH, my friend and I went to a bar and as girls do, we posted it on our IG stories. Nothing crazy, just a pic of the beer and the location. No tits. Nothing. Boy slid into the DMs with “Hanging out in my city I see“. Hmmm v curious.

I didn’t quite know his life situation so I called his bluff and invited him out with us. After all, the last time I saw him in person I was in the back of an ambulance while I sat in my embarrassment. While we waited for him to make it to the bar we creeped his social media and holy shit, dude was not only married. Gary had a baby on the way. FML.

At that point there was nothing we could do but sit there and wait to see how this shit played out. Gary rolled up and he looked mostly how I remembered him. Gotta be honest, the uniform definitely made him look hotter but he wasn’t terrible in plain clothes. Would equate it to a dog walking on its hind legs. Not bad but definitely different.

He took the seat next to me and we got chatting away. It had been 4 years so we had a lot to catch up on. The whole time though I couldn’t gauge if this was just a friends thing or if it was more than that. At one point my friend got up to go to the bathroom and while she was gone he went in with the, “You look really good by the way. Seriously”…shit. Okay, guess this was more than I thought it was.

When my friend came back he proceeded to tell her the story of how we met and we pinpointed that it happened right when he was in the midst of divorce with his first wife. Then he was bold and segwayed to my relationship status with, “So I remember you were seeing someone awhile back. How did that go?” I SEE YOU GARY. I gave the shortest of short versions and then asked him the same. That was when he finally revealed that he was married and had a baby on the way. Casual.

He left after about an hour or so since he had somewhere to be but, my friend and I were dumbfounded by the whole thing. I didn’t pick up on it but, she noticed that he hid his hand under the table the whole time so we couldn’t see his wedding ring. Whether not not that was intentional, we’ll never really know but it was sus.

Despite me roasting his ass the whole time for his lack of condom use, he still wanted to hang out again and met us at the bar we were at later that day. Nothing happened. The only interesting things were that he occasionally tapped my leg and mentioned I was pretty so I should be able to find a rich guy. Kinda flirtatious but also in theory, that could have been just out of friendship.

TBD, I still have no idea wtf happened. Based on timing though, I will say manifestation is more powerful than we think. Nearly every day that month I had the mantra, “I don’t chase, I attract. What belongs to me will find me” and apparently that meant some married guy with a baby rather than me being married with a baby. Universe, do better.