App: Coffee Meets Bagel
Location Review: 3.0 Stars – It’s fine. German beer hall that you can bring your mom to
3.0 Stars – Like any other brewery ever
Date Duration: 20 hours
To figure out whether or not I really liked Mark, I agreed to go out with him again. I couldn’t say no. He planned a whole day and even offered to drive since I would be on the road the rest of the weekend.
We went to a bar that he hyped up so much. It was suburban af. Maybe I’m just a bitch but he just hadn’t seen anything in life.
Eventually we made it to a brewery and the conversation was mostly him talking at me about political things. Yes, we had the same views but literally everything we talked about was so fucking serious. I just wanted to crack jokes and have witty banter.
We went back to my place and ended up having sex. It was meh. Then we cooked dinner and he was so sweet. Did the dishes and everything. Maybe it was fine? Maybe this was the best it would get and I should just deal with it.
He stayed the night and I kept avoiding doing anything physical. We hung out a few nights later for my own peace of mind and I was just miserable. I texted him a few days later to end it and at first it seemed that he took it well. He was sad, but didn’t fight with me.
A few days later he asked if we could be friends with benefits since we had “such good communication and sexual chemistry”…no. I declined and we never spoke again.
App: Coffee Meets Bagel
Date Location: Quincy Quarry & Crossing Nines – Quincy, MA
Location Review: N/A
4.0 Stars – Definitely a hidden gem outside Boston. The patio gives a whole view of the Boston skyline plus the food is actually good.
Date Duration: 14 hours
I knew I liked Mark after our last date but, I wasn’t sure how much. That said, when he asked me out again I agreed so I could get a feel.
He suggested heading up to the quarry and hiking around a bit which I was immediately turned off by but, he said he would bring alcohol and snacks so I went with it.
Despite the fact it stank of puberty and weed, the view on top of the rocks was pretty nice. He brought his camera and we took some pictures while chit-chatting. He did keep touching my leg which for whatever reason, made me low-key uncomfortable. I couldn’t explain it but, I just shrugged it off as we were in public and I was still getting used to him.
Since the golf course was right there, we decided to head over for dinner and everything was normal. Nothing exciting to report. Although, he did tell me that the reason he didn’t kiss me on the first date was because he had a boner the whole time and didn’t want me to feel it. Thank you for sharing?
He invited me to his place and I figured I might as well check it out. Well as expected, it wasn’t long until we were hooking up. We didn’t have sex. Actually, I kinda felt myself trying to get out of any intimate contact with him. There wasn’t anything wrong “per se” but something wasn’t right.
I dipped out fairly quickly in the morning. I knew something was off but, everything else was good on paper so I decided to see him again to really be sure.
Date Location: Fogo de Chao – Boston, MA
Location Review: 5.0 Stars – Holy shit. Amazing. Expensive but, so fucking worth it.
Date Duration: 3 hours
Maurice’s opener was “What Boston restaurant have you been meaning to try but haven’t been to yet?” I said “Fogo de Chao but my bank account says no”. And then he followed up with reservation details so we were in business.
He was a Naval Officer who went to the Academy and was now going to MIT so he was wicked fucking smart. The messages on the app were fine but I really didn’t know what to expect since he was an engineer and that’s always a toss-up.
I beat him to the restaurant and when he walked up, it was a no. He had the UnderArmour polo tucked in so god damn tight and the haircut just screamed “Dad”. All he needed was a pair of New Balances and he would have been ready for the family cookout. But maybe he would bring it at dinner and his personality would shine?
It didn’t. He was boring as shit. “Have any siblings?” Yeah. Mmmmm kay. What am I supposed to do with that? Just hours of me grilling his ass because he couldn’t hold a conversation properly.
To top it off, everyone at the restaurant thought we were there for our anniversary. So that wasn’t awkward at all.
The check came and no one moved. I kept chatting but nothing happened. The restaurant started closing down so it was time. I suggested we close out and I started making moves to my bag. I got the card. I put it down. And he took that thing and put it in the book with his. FUCK. $90 I will never see again.
I was ready to call time of death but he refused to let me take the train by where we were since I’d have to do a transfer. Not a big deal AT ALL but he just wouldn’t let it go. So now I was locked into a 15-minute walk with the most boring man in the world.
To make matters worse, we were taking the same train line in opposite directions and my train’s doors closed as soon as we got to the platform. Queue another awkward 15 minutes.
By the time I got home, there was a message in my Hinge inbox with his phone number. I politely declined and he said to keep the number in case I changed my mind. I was good.