Month: September 2022

Encounter #100.2: Rain Delay

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App: Coffee Meets Bagel

Name: Mark*

Date Location: The Clam Box – Quincy, MA

Location Review:  2.5 Stars – It’s pretty meh but you’re near the beach.

Date Duration: 14 hours

What Happened:

Mark and I were both busy so it was a minute before we could meet up but he was consistent with texting me and staying in contact.

I had to dog sit so he suggested we head to the beach so I could bring the dog and we could walk around. He did suggest 10am which was so aggressive but, I would live.

He walked up looking cute and he had a little cooler backpack with him filled with water and treats for the dog which was very sweet. So we walked around and shot the shit. Conversation was much easier this time and it was very clear that we had similar political views which was nice. Mark was also pretty smart so we had more intellectual conversation than I expected.

It was hot out so we decided to take a break and grab some drinks while the dog cooled off. He made a few flirtatious jokes which was unexpected. I couldn’t get a read on him at all up until that point so it was nice knowing that he found me attractive.

I got a text that the owner was on the way so I offered to continue hanging out and have a quick side mission to my place to get the dog situated or, we could go about our days. He chose the side mission.

After the dog got picked up, we threw something on Netflix so we could cool off in the AC. Then, as expected, things started happening. I told him straight up we weren’t going to fuck. It was a second date. I didn’t know him. He agreed to those terms.

Clothes came off and things were meh. He kept trying to talk dirty to me but it was more conversational and honestly just annoying af. Stop talking to me and just eat my pussy.

We hooked up on and off for a few hours but despite agreeing to the terms and conditions, he kept pushing to fuck. It got to the point I had to bring up that my new birth control wasn’t all the way effective yet. He responded with, “Well I have condoms”. SIR. The answer was no. I don’t know what else you need to hear. He apologized between rounds so I let it slide but, it was definitely something that went against him.

Eventually, we ordered food and he ended up staying the night. I wasn’t 100% sold but, he was nice enough and checked other boxes so I figured I’d see where it went.

Encounter #99.2: Mr. Rhode Island

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App: The League

Name: Elias*

Date Location: Ward 8 & Arya Trattoria – Boston, MA

Location Review:  4.0 Stars – Romantic atmosphere and drinks and apps were tasty

4.0 Stars – Solid-ass Italian. For being in that main drag in the North End, it’s actually good.

Date Duration: 7 hours

What Happened:

I was legitimately excited to see Elias again. It had been a minute since I had someone plan real dates and I just thought he was so cute.

We decided to get drinks and a snack before dinner and based on how he was dressed and smelled that night, I wanted Elias to be the snack. Like damn. Boy came to play.

He was super sweet. Before I got there he tried to get us a table in a more romantic spot and he pulled my chair out for me. Definitely giving gentleman vibes.

Talking with him was easy. There weren’t really any awkward silences and we just shot the shit. After drinks, we headed over to the next restaurant for dinner and that’s where it started getting a little weird.

Out of nowhere, he asked me if there was a political issue I was passionate about. Considering I had just dumped someone for their beliefs, it was odd timing. But, we were on the same page so that was fine.

After we finished dinner, we decided to walk around and found ourselves at the waterfront yet again. And that’s where things got a smidge weirder.

We had both dated married Brazilians before so I told him my little story that ended with me getting a (CURABLE) std. Is that too much to share? Maybe. But if you don’t think that shit is funny, you aren’t the one for me.

To make me feel better, he said he’d share something embarrassing. But then it was this weird stream of consciousness about how he smokes weed, but he has herniated disks in his back so it’s fine, but it’s not an addiction, and he hasn’t smoked in a month because his job tests and he’s looking to switch positions, and he’s looking at moving to LA to work at that office, but he doesn’t know if he wants to work in chemistry anymore, and he already resigned his lease, oh and he has ADHD. I had no idea wtf was happening but it was just a pile of word vomit.

Despite that, I had a good time and wanted to see if we had any chemistry. We held hands but, would there be a spark? We were all alone by the water. Drinks had been flowing. NOTHING.

It was late so we called the Ubers and I leaned into him trying to make something happen. He was oblivious. He kept saying how he wanted to see me again so figured I’d let it slide and wait for that slow burn.

Happy 100?

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I’d like to think I’d have something witty and snappy to say now that I’ve officially crossed 100 first dates off my list. But truthfully, I am so fucking exhausted and really just need to be properly dicked down.

It’s nice having freedom. I never have to answer to anyone. But, I feel so starved for companionship with a partner. Everyone is moving into these next phases of life and I can’t relate in the least. They’re picking out nursery colors and I’m still snapchatting men asking how many siblings they have. Just night and day.

I have a lot of feelings about staring 30 in the face with little to no prospect of having someone special to celebrate it with. It’s low-key kind of embarrassing that I’m still in the position to be writing this nonsense but, I will spare you from this becoming a live journal entry.

When I look back on these 100 dates, there are some that stand out.

The good:

The bad:

And just the downright weird:

It’s been a wild-ass ride and I can’t thank you enough for being on this ride with me. Here’s hoping we both get off (both literally and figuratively) soon.