Encounter #88.2: MBA

App: Hinge

Name: Moises*

Date Location: Tuscan Kitchen – Boston, MA

Location Review: If you’re going to Boston for Italian, go to the North End. It’s good but it’s not nearly on the same level.

Date Duration: 3 hours

What Happened:

Moises made it very clear that he wanted to take me out and have a romantic dinner. V sweet. Going in, this was going to be one of those make-or-break dates. I wasn’t 100% sold on him but I also wasn’t ready to walk away. It really just depended on how the night went.

When I walked up to him I went in for a hug and he went for a kiss. Okay. Bold. And then he went in for it again…K. It wasn’t bad, just unexpected.

We got our table and watching Moises interact with the staff was something else. I wasn’t sure if he had ever been to a restaurant before. He wasn’t mean or anything like that, it was just bizarre af. Also when he ordered, he order the “sal-man”. BABY. That “l” is silent. I got the ick and fuck I got it hard.

I decided that after dinner, I was going to dip. I had the perfect excuse. It was 10pm on a Wednesday, I took the train in, and we had to work the next day. What could go wrong?

Well, this fucker INSISTED on us walking along the water at the Seaport. UGH. Fuck. So we did and he had me sit next to him on a bench and I knew he wanted to make a move. But he kept dancing around it and it was so uncomfortable all around. I slid in that I needed to go to so I could make my train and that’s when he insisted on driving me back to my car. Would not take no for an answer. God damn it.

The drive back to my car, although 15 minutes, felt like 20 years. Just painful. And then we got to the parking lot and I went to open the door. He stopped me and said, “Hold on, I want to do something”. He got out of the car and hustled over to my side but then he stopped and scurried back to the driver’s side. Moises forgot the damn key fob to the car. So he grabbed it, ran back, opened my car door, and went “See, chivalry isn’t dead”. Go fuck yourself. Do something nice to be nice. The comment after was cringe.

Moises walked me over to my car and he was talking about seeing each other again and I said something like, “Yeah, we’ll figure something out”. He made a face and went, “Oh? That’s not good.” So, I was forced to scramble and said I wasn’t sure if I got a friend or romantic vibe from him. His eyes got so wide. Pure shock.

We said goodbye and in the 3 minutes it took for me to get home I decided I was done. Sent the “Thanks but no” text and that was the end of that.

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