Month: May 2020

App: The League

Name: Ian*

Date Location: Lake access point – Laconia, NH

Location Review:  N/A

Date Duration: 1.5 hours

What Happened:

What initially drew me to Ian was that he was also from New Hampshire. Throughout all my time in NJ/NYC I had only matched with one other guy from NH and it didn’t go anywhere. I was getting really done with NYC guys and I was craving a piece of home.

He also picked up on the NH connection and we exchanged numbers pretty quickly. Only thing was that Coronavirus had just become a thing so that was a buzz kill. However, we were both quarantining in NH.

For the first few weeks of quarantine, we would text over the weekend to try to hang out but it would never work out and then we’d just repeat the cycle the next week. After completing our 2-week quarantines and having schedules that matched, we made moves to hang out.

He lived up by the lake region and his parents’ house was only a block from the water. He sent me the GooglePin and I drove up to the access point.

On paper, this seemed like a good idea. We were outside, the lake looked beautiful and we had both packed alcohol. Problem was it was windy AF and kind of cloudy so it was fucking freezing.

Ian was a smart one and packed a blanket so we sat next to each other huddled up underneath. We chatted for a bit and it was fine. He worked in real estate and was raking in mad money. So much that he was not eligible for the $1200 stimulus check, could shell out $3000+ on rent, and flew everywhere. For real, this kid went international on like 7 bachelor parties in the past year and said he dropped at least $3000 every trip. Meanwhile, I eat food that has been in my fridge a questionable amount of time just to avoid buying something.

Ian didn’t have much to say. The only noteworthy thing was his worst date. Basically he met up with this girl and the texting was great but she didn’t deliver in person. She also ordered the most expensive things on the menu. What got him though was that he looked down at her leg and apparently her calves were hairless but her thighs had thick, dark hair and that was what did it for him. Weird. Overall, he was nice enough but there were so many long pauses. I didn’t feel like I was carrying the team but, I did feel that I was too out there for him.

After about an hour I really had to pee and we realized there was no bathroom. As much as I don’t think Ian would have cared if I peed in the woods, it was just too damn windy to risk it. He walked me back up to my car and I was very surprised that he went in for the kiss. Pretty sure I owe that to him not seeing a girl in weeks but fuck it, I needed it too. It was quick but wasn’t bad. Given everything going on we couldn’t really make out.

I sped to a supermarket and had the most religious piss of my life. Like wow. What dreams are made of. What a time.