Encounter #53.1: The Fivehead

App: Hinge

Name: Noah*

Date Location: The Ashford – Jersey City

Location Review: 4.0 Stars – Cool date spot. The decor makes it feel a little sexy with the velvet wallpaper, happy hour is good, beautiful rooftop, and has a gay bar attached.

Date Duration: 2 hours

What Happened:

Things with Noah seemed promising. From what I remember, the chat to text transition went pretty well and it didn’t take long until we made plans.

We originally planned to go to Taqueria but it was packed. So after meeting me there and seeing the line, we decided to check out another place in the area. Just in the 8 minute walk over I was skeptical. I saw him text someone within 2 minutes of us walking and he wasn’t too talkative even though he was A FUCKING RECRUITER. Like come on, isn’t small talk your thing?

We got our table and of course, this is the night this place has shit service. I had been there dozens of times with no issue, but on this night with this awkward date it had to happen.

We made awkward small talk for at least 15 minutes while we waited for someone to get our drink order. TBH I just kept staring at how big his forehead was. Like damn, you could have parked a plane on that thing.

After the beer hit our systems things got marginally better. I still felt like I was grilling him though. The entire time we were together, I think he may have asked me a total of four questions. Fucking four. We waited for the check and it was clear that neither one of us was feeling it and we waited in silence for the bulk of the time.

Noah walked me to the train which was nice although highly unnecessary given how uninterested both of us were. We hugged, I went on my way, and drunkenly hit up my fuck buddy. All in a day’s work.

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