App: Bumble/Tinder

Name: Jack*

Date Location: LITM – Jersey City, NJ

Location Review:  2.5 Stars – I just didn’t get it. It felt under-decorated, didn’t have food, and drink selection was limited. I did like that it had pieces up from local artists.

Date Duration: 2 hours

What Happened:

Jack and I had matched on two apps and had decent banter on both so it was time we met up. I was feeling cocky. I had some successful dates under my belt so I was some hot fucking shit. It was time for the world to kick me back down to size.

Per usual, I beat my date to the bar. I was facing the back of the bar so I didn’t see him come in. I did hear a “Heyyy” behind me. For a guy who was 6’6″, his voice was oddly high. I turned around and saw a stick bug before me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so tall and skinny in my life.

We started talking and as more and more came out, I questioned why Jack even agreed to go out in the first place. He brought up a few too many times that if he were gay, he’d be disowned in his extremely conservative, Catholic family. He had very different interests. Lots of goth shows and that was truly his identity. Meanwhile I’m a Pitbull lover who farts butterflies.

Despite having virtually nothing to talk about, there were small glimmers of hope. We may not have anything in common but we delivered jokes similarly.

The nail in the coffin happened at the end. While I was in the bathroom he had asked to close out. I get handed my card and the entire tab was on it. Granted it wasn’t a lot but, if the date isn’t good I’m fine with us paying for our own shit. He did the laziest attempt to try to pay for his portion. Like I could see the $15 cash in his wallet and he was saying he didn’t have enough on him. I CAN FUCKING SEE IT.

We had to go the same direction to get to the train which left us with a few more minutes of awkward conversation. My train arrived and we both seemed okay with the night ending. No kiss, no hug, no luck.