App: Hinge

Name: Antonio*

Date Location: Mustang Harry’s

Location Review:  4.5 Stars – Awesome apps, kick ass happy hour, most delightful owner

Date Duration: 3 hours

What Happened:

Antonio and I just fucking clicked. As soon as our chat on Hinge started, I was into him. He worked full time as a tax accountant but did comedy on the side. AKA financially stable and could make me laugh. He had a self-deprecating humor so the conversation quickly moved to text.

We texted nonstop to the point he had suffered at least 2 series of drunken texts from me and I was staying up late to continue to talk to him. We had 2 weeks of lead time before this date so I found out a lot despite the fact we were dicking around a lot. He had a younger brother who was gay, lived at home on Long Island, was bisexual, recently lost 30 pounds thanks to Jenny Craig, played basketball, wasn’t a huge drinker, NY sports fan, and is a retired sneaker fiend. (Really, this kid had a shit ton of Jordans.)

When it came to planning the date, Antonio sucked. I picked a bar that was easy to get to and easy to leave from in case things went south. Unfortunately, it was pretty loud when we got there so the conversation wasn’t great. After we finished our food and beers, he suggested that we go for a walk. Ok, fine.

We literally just made a big loop around midtown and the Garment District before stopping to pee at Macy’s. (For those who are not familiar with NYC, these spots are packed with people, kind of dirty, and there’s not much to look at.)

We chatted the whole time but I wasn’t sure if I was really clinching it. Although he laughed at my jokes, I didn’t feel “on”. He was okay looking, his voice didn’t quite match his body, and it felt like all that lead time made things harder for conversation.

Antonio walked me to my train and I wondered where we stood. Well, boy went in for the kiss and we lightly made out. Was it the best I’ve experienced? Nope. But it really wasn’t bad. He seemed nice enough and I knew he had the ability to make me laugh, it was just seeing if we could make it happen. We texted through the next week until date #2.