App: Tinder

Name: Beck*

Date Location: 9 Bar Cafe

Location Review: 2.5 Stars – Small space, not a lot of coffee options, hipster AF

Date Duration: 1.5 hours

What Happened:

It had been a few weeks since I had gone out with anyone. After cutting someone loose because of herpes, I felt it was time to be a little more passive with the dating game. Rather than swipe aggressively, craft answers, and make myself available I would just see what came into my inbox and go from there.

Beck opened with, “Who would win in a fight? Forrest Gump vs Tommy Pickles” Weird. I was into it. We had some banter back and forth until he asked me out for coffee. Also weird. How was I going to make it through a first date without drinking?

I made it there first and saw a hottie to my right. Was not my date upon further review. I took a seat facing the door. I was ready for a great ass date. He walked in. I looked up. I immediately wanted to leave.

He wore a beanie, had a scraggly beard, and gave the general vibe that he had not showered for a few days. Shit. And no alcohol on this date? We’re fucked.

We started talking and it was clear we would not go out again. He only asked me one question the entire time we were out. “What do you do for work?” He then told me all about his two jobs, the commute, living in NJ, how he never sleeps, why he never sleeps, what music he’s into, where his friends live, his siblings, and all the indie concerts he had been to.

After an hour or so, he said he had to go which I was more than fine with. I had to make the turn to get to the train so we hugged, went our separate ways, and I unmatched him as soon as I got on the train.