App: Tinder

Name: AJ*

Date Location: The Triple Crown Ale House

Location Review: 3.0 Stars – Has definite potential if you find a seat at the bar. Food is decent but if you’re at a table they will be pushing you through fast

Date Duration: 40 minutes (a new record)

What Happened:

We chatted for a few days on Tinder before he asked me to go out. He had a pretty open schedule so we set a date and went from there.

The morning of, he messaged me to let me know that he didn’t drink. Weird. I don’t care if you don’t drink but I think it’s weird to tell me ahead of time because now I’m very conscious of the fact that I cannot get drunk because you will have all your wits about you. Whatever, maybe he’d work out and I’d always have someone to hold my hair.

He was delayed getting to the bar because there was an emergency incident on his train and then he ran into his roommate on the street. WHAT ARE THE CHANCES. 30 minutes later he was at the bar and did not look like his pics. No joke, he looked like a model in these and showed up looking like a young Homer Simpson. Fuck. So we started looking for a seat at the bar.

We went upstairs and it turns out there was a company Christmas party going on and no one said anything to us and even told us where to set our coats. Open bar. Free food. Boy chickened out.

Since it was so packed, we moved over to The Triple Crown Ale House which was also packed so we got locked into a table. Very quickly I knew I wanted to dip out. To start, I was uncomfortable and wanted to be drunk but knew it would be uncomfortable if I did because I just said that I didn’t care if he didn’t drink. He also bitched about how girls stand him up. Then, he said he was a grad student…studying screen writing. He told me his latest piece was a stoner comedy. I had just went out with a stereotype. To top it off, he looked and acted EXACTLY like a friend I had from college. Same interests, both Italian, same eyes. Too weird.

I chugged my wine, we split an app, and once we left the bar I checked my phone. It was only 7 pm. He asked if I had to go back and I did the whole, “Ohhh NJ is so far. Early morning. PATH train” thing. He was heading the same way and walked me to my station. We hugged and he said, “Do this again?”. I was about 5 feet away at this point fishing a Metrocard out of my bag and responded with the quickest, “We’ll see” as I went through the turn style. Unmatched him the next day.