Encounter #5.1: The Girl Date That Wasn’t

App: Bumble BFF

Name: Jan*

Date Location: Noche de Margaritas

Location Review: 3.0 Stars – Mediocre. Yes, happy hour margs are $5 but the food is a little pricier and it’s not insanely good. That being said, the portions are decent.

Date Duration: 2-3 hours

What Happened:

After being in NYC for a few months I realized something. Outside of my roommate, I didn’t have any friends. How does one make friends post-college? APPS OF COURSE. Bumble BFF is the “friend” component of the traditional Bumble dating app. When you log in, you have the option to switch to BFF mode or to dating.  You’re shown people of the same gender who are also logged into BFF and you swipe as you normally would on a dating app.

No lie, kind of weird. I feel weird judging if I’d be friends with a girl based on her appearance then there’s the aspect of who starts the conversation. When you “Match” with a BFF, both parties have 24 to start the conversation before the match disappears. I barely know what to say to a guy, WTF do I say to a girl to make a friend? This is like a freshman year ice breaker all over again.

I opened with a gif and we went from there. We both love margs and she lives by my work so she picked a Mexican spot in the area. I met her outside, we got the drink orders in, and had an awkward time.

I only say awkward because it felt like a weird interview. I am not there for romantic reasons so that whole piece is taken out which leaves getting to know someone as a person. WEIRD. Jan also grew up in New England and works in a similar field. She was nice, quirky, and laughed at my shitty jokes. But much like regular first dates, I wasn’t 100% sold. That being said, she was nice enough and I wouldn’t mind hanging out again.

But then there’s the follow up piece. When we left the restaurant she left it at, “Let’s keep in touch” but we didn’t exchange numbers. As the person who asked for the friend date, am I now responsible for sending a message? But like if she had a bad time I don’t want to make her feel like she has to hang out again. So should I leave it in her court? WHAT TO DO.

Ultimately I opted for leaving it in her court and we haven’t contacted each other since. I may not have made a friend but I gained a whole new level of understanding when it comes to men. Women are tough to crack.

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