App: Tinder

Name: Shane*

Date Location: Low Fidelity – Jersey City

Location Review: 4.0 Stars – Hand-crafted cocktail bar with options that won’t intimidate and has corn hole in the back.  Quite the gem in a shithole.

Date Duration: 4 hours

What Happened:

Once again, I started this date on the fence. I couldn’t tell how attractive he was by his pics but we had decent banter going so the possibility was there.

Shane was a shapeshifter. There were some angles where he looked really good and some not so much. He was over 6 ft which helped his case and fun fact: is blind in one eye. What really got me was that he lived in Jersey City and was only a 10 minute walk from my apartment. Pretty much everyone I have met in NYC shits on NJ and thinks Jersey City is insanely far when it’s 40 minutes away (it can take 1 hour to go from the Upper West Side to the Upper East Side. JUST SAYING).

The thing with Shane is that he was boring AF. One sentence answers, not particularly funny, and didn’t ask too many questions. I can’t carry the whole team on my back, bro. Despite that, he was fine. Did bring up that he makes 6-figures which rubbed me the wrong way, but was fine.

I think my standards for a good first date are very different from other peoples’. Just because we may spend a decent amount of time together doesn’t mean it’s good. I may want to dip after 5 minutes but the opportune moment doesn’t come up until 3 hours later. Your girl plays the long game.

But this was the case with Shane. We were finishing our last round and he says, “Wow, we’ve been out for 4 hours. I’d say this went pretty well. I had such a good time..Let’s do this soon blah blah”. If by well you mean I got drunk from chugging my drinks during the awkward silences, then yes. It went swimmingly.

Once again though, I did shit I shouldn’t have. We were walking in the same direction to go home and I may have made out with him on the corner. Typically I’m not a first date kiss person never mind with someone I’m not into, but god damn it’s been awhile and Mama needed something to hold her over.

Too many times I’ve heard the story of, “When I met my husband for the first time I couldn’t stand him. But for whatever reason I gave him another chance and now we’re married”.  Keeping that in mind, we texted for the next few days and since he could keep decent banter I agreed to a second date.